


Coffee Stained Hearts

by raiykei



Series: The Start Of The Rest Of Our Lives [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Platonic Relationships, background woosansang, best wingman wooyoung, fake dating mixed with university au, homophobic parents, hongjoongs too panic gay for park seonghwa to deal with this, i bullshit group chats and everything relating to uni can you tell, manipulative parents, no beta we die like men, other idols as background characters - Freeform, spoilers in tags, youngjo seoho and hwanwoong make an appearance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 40,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23023453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raiykei/pseuds/raiykei
Summary: When Seonghwa asked him to pretend to be his boyfriend, Hongjoong didn't know what to expect. Nothing could prepare him for dealing with the Park family, or the pettiness that made Seonghwa ask in the first place.
Relationships: Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa, Kim Hongjoong & Park Seonghwa
Series: The Start Of The Rest Of Our Lives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785196
Comments: 103
Kudos: 308





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first chaptered fic in a long time. I've been working on and off on it for a while in between working on other fics so I cannot guarantee a regular update schedule. This entire idea is just meant to be a fun one, so I hope it's enjoyable!
> 
> More tags to be added as they pop up in later chapters.

"Please, Wooyoung! I need your help so I can finish this song."

"Sorry, Hongjoong. Yeosang, Yunho, and I are already helping Mingi."

"You know he'll procrastinate until the last minute."

"That’s what I’m counting on. Do you know how many drafts I go through before I get a decent idea that I actually like?”

“Too many,” Yeosang added, his tone giving away the months he spent dealing with Wooyoung and his creative process. Hongjoong could recall more than one time Yeosang had found his way to the little apartment he rented with Mingi and Yunho, complaining about lack of bed space due to Wooyoung’s shenanigans, only to have left before the rest of them had woken up to make sure the dorm and his roommate were still in one piece.

“_Too many._ And I have to get my projects done before exams so that way I’m not drowning in fabric, needles, threads, a sea of text books, notes, _and_ Mingi’s endless nights spent recording while juggling a caffeine addiction to get through the last few weeks of the semester.”

“Some days I wonder how you’re still alive.”

“I sold my soul freshman year.”

“You sold your soul long before freshman year.”

Hongjoong was above begging.

He would not beg.

The low tone in his throat was unmistakable, Hongjoong trying to give Wooyoung the biggest puppy dog eyes he could while leaning forward until his chin rested on the table. Maybe sticking out his lower lip a bit. Maybe trying to act the cutest he ever had. Reputation and respect be damned, he had an assignment he had to finish, and Wooyoung had the perfect voice for the idea he had in mind.

All he got was a sympathetic smile in return. "I really am sorry. We don't have the time to help the both of you and get our own projects done."

"Some of us actually like sleep." 

He couldn’t fault them for that. It had been discovered rather early on that trying to help both Hongjoong and Mingi with their projects at the same time tended to end badly for everyone involved. Short tempers, shorter nights, deadlines that appeared all too quickly, and everyone in a mad dash to work together to try to get things completed.

"What about Jongho or San?"

Hongjoong's slid down in his seat until his forehead rested on the edge of the table, words spoken into whatever plastic the cafeteria tables were made out of. "Drowning in their own work. Jongho's got a theater performance soon, so all his free time is spent on that, and San's neck deep in preparing for an art show.”

"I'll do it." 

All of them snapped their attention towards Seonghwa, blinking in confusion at his sudden suggestion. Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa - local business major - was offering his services as vocals in a song. It was practically unheard of. The only time Seonghwa had agreed to help before, Hongjoong had to provide free drinks and pastries for a week and beg for a solid three days. A decision he regretted almost immediately with how much of a sweet tooth Seonghwa actually had.

And here he was. Freely volunteering his services.

It took Hongjoong a moment to find his voice. "Are... are you sure?"

"Yeah."

He tried and failed to hide his excitement, eyes shining and a smile curling his lips, pushing himself up a little straighter, hands curling around the edge of the table. "There’s some work I need to do before we can start recording since your range is different than Wooyoung's, but if we can get some samples it’ll help me figure out the best way to layer the track- Ah, I was planning on having some raps, but I can-”

"I can do those, too, if you need me to."

“We’ll see. I-” It took a moment for what Seonghwa said to register, Hongjoong too caught up in his own plans to realize what had been offered. When it clicked his attention swung towards Seonghwa, blinking in confusion. “Wait, what?”

“If you need someone to cover the raps, I can do that. I actually prefer them to vocals.”

"You can rap?" Gears had already been spinning when only taking into account Seonghwa’s vocals. If rapping was an option as well, that opened all sorts of possibilities. 

There was a lot of work to be done, a lot that would need to be taken into consideration before he made a final decision, but if there was one thing Hongjoong always looked forward to it was working with Seonghwa. Business major or no, he had good suggestions when it came to music, and a beautiful voice when he felt like actually singing. Without realizing it, Hongjoong had begun to chew on his thumbnail, pulled into his mind as idea after idea flashed before him. “We’ll have to figure out schedules, and there’s a shitton that needs to get done, but-”

"Mmhm. But I need your help with something in return."

He should have known it would come with strings attached. Everything did with Seonghwa. He could already feel a burning hole in his wallet. One vaguely shaped like his place of work. "Yeah, anything. What?" 

"Pretend to be my boyfriend."

Wooyoung spat out his drink, half choking as he struggled to collect himself. Yeosang stared at Seonghwa, brows furrowed as if he had something on his mind, though no words actually left him. Neither of their reactions compared to Hongjoong, who had froze while he stared at Seonghwa with his mouth hanging open, giving one, and then two slow blinks.

"E-excuse me?"

"I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for a weekend."

"I-"

"My parents keep pestering me about being single, and next weekend they want me home for some family dinner.”

"I- Okay. Why me?"

"No offense to present company, but you're the only one I trust to be able to pull this off." Seonghwa answered so swiftly and without any tone of voice that might give away how he felt about it all. In fact, he was treating it all rather non-challantly.

Wooyoung looked like he wanted to be offended, but what little heat was in his gaze died down when he gave a shrug. "You know what? That's fair. I'd end up charming your parents, and then all you'd hear are questions about how I'm doing, what am I up to."

Yeosang snorted half a laugh. "Trust me, they ask that to make sure you're staying out of trouble."

"Your parents don't count. They've known me too long."

Yeosang and Wooyoung dived into their own separate conversation, words turning into idle chatter that was easily ignored. Hongjoong's gaze never left Seonghwa, mouth opening and closing, trying to find the words he wanted to say. What could he say? It had been sprung on him so casually out of nowhere, as if Seonghwa hadn't just asked him to pretend to be in a romantic relationship with him.

For a whole weekend.

While around his parents.

It was too much to process at once, too much swimming around his head. Too many emotions trying to fight with a numb mind still processing what had been asked of him. "I think we'll need to talk about this a bit more before I agree to anything."

"Alright. Do you have the time now?"

"Walk and talk?"

Goodbyes were exchanged, backpacks slung over shoulders, leftover food given to Wooyoung and Yeosang to divide up to whoever else showed within the next few minutes. One joking 'If you see San tell him he still owes me lunch!' from Wooyoung as Hongjoong and Seonghwa made their way to the sidewalks and streets outside the fast food restaurant.

"Why me?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you're the sort of person my parents hate."

“Wow. Kind of wondering how I’m supposed to take something like that.”

"It's not..." Seonghwa's brows pulled together in thought, eyes flicking momentarily towards Hongjoong. "It's not a bad thing. It's the opposite. My parents aren't huge fans of arts related anything. The fact that you're involved in a music related degree, work multiple jobs, are _unashamedly_ yourself, and involved with me-"

"Oh my god. Park Seonghwa is being _petty_?"

“Plus," here he paused to gesture at Hongjoong, the only thing even showing that he heard him being the amusement that danced in his eyes, "you have a wild look about you. I think the only thing they'd like is your work ethic.”

“Alright. Enough sucking up. I still don’t see how I’m someone they wouldn’t like. What, are they the kind of people that hear ‘music major' and start foaming at the mouth?” 

Seonghwa actually _paused_ in his amusement, rolling his lips between his teeth. He didn’t often show when he got nervous, but if someone knew what signs to look for it was obvious, and Hongjoong liked to think he knew what to look for. The way Seonghwa straightened, attention flicking to the side before it focused on him, and maybe there was just a hint of apology there, too. No, there was definitely a look of apology. Something strained and almost borderline pitying in Seonghwa’s stare.

He didn’t have to specify it for the dots to connect. Hongjoong squared his shoulders, jaw clenchind and hand tightening around the strap of his bag. They’d hate him simply because he had an interest in music. They’d judge him based on what he loved and chose to do with his life. Just like most other adults he seemed to cross paths with. Just like his parents. 

That was exactly what Seonghwa had been trying to tell him.

“I’m sorry, Hongjoong, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. You're the only one I trust to pull this off."

"_Why_? Jongho's an excellent actor. He'd be able-"

"It's not..." Seonghwa paused, brows knitting as he tried to find the right words. "It's not only a matter of acting. My parents aren't... the easiest people to get along with." Another pause, another struggle to find the words. "They might say things that wouldn't sit well with the others. I trust that you can handle it without it getting to you."

"What kind of things, Seonghwa? About my major? About me? If I'm going to agree to anything I need to know what I'm getting into. All of it."

It's not that Seonghwa was... private about his home life- Hongjoong could count on both hand the amount of times he had listened as Seonghwa vented after a particularly frustrating phone call or family problem- but those rants were all Hongjoong knew, and Seonghwa still kept some of the more personal information to himself. He knew his mom was particularly frustrating, and typically the one Seonghwa got into arguments with. He knew he could tolerate his dad a little more than he could his mom. He knew they were the reason he was in school for business.

But that was all he knew.

Seonghwa's pace slowed, lips pulling tight. Hongjoong slowed his to match, watching from the corner of his eye and giving Seonghwa the time he needed to answer. "They're controlling, more than a little obnoxious, and aren't subtle about their insults. They're the sort of people where if you aren't like them then you aren't worth their time, and they'll do anything within their power to make sure you know it. So, yes. They’d insult you, insult your major. Chances are my mother would do so not-so discreetly. Which is why I don't want to put anyone else in that sort of position."

"So it's fine if I'm in that position." There was a bit more bite to the words than he intended, but after years of fighting every which way for his interest in music Hongjoong wasn’t too keen on putting himself in a situation where he’d be faced with all over again. Especially in a place he wouldn’t be able to easily escape from. "Did my confession have anything to do with this?"

“What? No! Hongjoong, I wouldn't-!" Seonghwa bit his lip, looking pained and maybe a little hurt at the accusation. His gaze dropped to the ground, one hand dragging through his hair. "... You’re right. I shouldn’t have asked. Forget it. It’s unfair to ask you to put yourself in a spot like that.”

“Seonghwa-”

“I’ll still help with your song. It’s the least I can do-”

“_Seonghwa._” Hongjoong took a sharp step forward, reaching out and grabbing his arm, keeping Seonghwa from turning and walking away. His heart twisted at the passive look Seonghwa gave him, the mask that kept others at bay when things got rough. To have that directed at him, after fighting tooth and nail for Seonghwa to never feel like he had to hide how he was feeling... it hurt. More than Hongjoong cared to admit.

“I never said I wouldn’t do it,” Seonghwa’s eyes flicked across his face, trying to find the catch, “but I need you to be honest. _Why me?_”

There were a thousand possibilities racing around in his mind, but Hongjoong refused to allow himself to assume one thing over the other. He refused to fall victim to those false hopes again. Now wasn’t the time nor place to project his own wants and feelings onto his friend.

There was a moment where Seonghwa stared at him, and Hongjoong could see the inner battle behind his eyes. Torn between the truth he had asked for, and something that was causing the anxiety Seonghwa tried to hide from him. Seonghwa’s mouth opened, closed, teeth worrying at his bottom lip. Hongjoong waited, because when he got like this saying anything - even something reassuring- only caused Seonghwa to retreat farther. His free hand ran through his hair, messing up the normally meticulous stands before he managed to find his voice. “Because I don’t trust anyone like I trust you.”

He should have been expecting an answer like that, one that took his breath away without notice- something Seonghwa did without realizing the effect he had on Hongjoong- but it still caught him by surprise. How could he say no after hearing that? After how long it had taken him and everyone in their friend group to get Seonghwa to even begin to open up to them? To have his trust and be someone he could lean on when he needed it? And Hongjoong liked to think Seonghwa was a bit closer to him than he was with the others, judging by the amount of time they spent in just each other’s presence.

Maybe that was one reason he had fallen hard. Seonghwa’s endearingly dorky jokes, the genuine smiles and laughs that he managed to pull out of him. That wasn’t mentioning how being around Seonghwa was calming in itself, a relief in knowing there was someone who would call him out on his bullshit, force him to take care of himself, pull him from his own maze of a mind when he needed it most. It was embarrassing the worst of times, and during the rest of the time made his chest warm, made the moments worthwhile. And maybe there had been some smiles and looks Wooyoung and San had poked fun at him for where Seonghwa was concerned.

Maybe that was what caused him to find signals that weren’t there so many months before.

Hongjoong stared for a second, scanning Seonghwa, before he released his arm. “Okay. I’ll help.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I _want_ to. Even if you weren’t helping me with my assignment, I’d still want to help you out. That’s what friends do, Seonghwa.”

“It’s fine, I-”

“What days?”

“Hongjoong-”

“_What days_, Seonghwa?”

Seonghwa leaned away from him, eyes searching his face, still looking so damn unsure and like he wanted to argue. He must have seen _something_, because instead of insisting it was fine, the tension in his shoulders seemed to disappear. “Next weekend. We’d leave early Friday morning and get back Sunday evening.”

That was less time than he usually gave his boss when he needed time off, and since it was a weekend the odds of finding someone to cover any shifts was up in the air. There were too many variables, too many ways he wouldn’t be able to work it out, but if there was one thing anyone could count on Hongjoong to be it was that he’d always be there for his friends when they needed it. That and stubborn, but the two ran together most of the time. “I’ll figure it out. I can let you know for sure after I talk to Jun, but I’ll figure it out. Okay?” 

There was a pause before Seonghwa nodded, still looking unsure. All Hongjoong could do was flash him what he hoped was a reassuring smile, giving him a pat on the arm. “It’ll work out. We can spend the next week hashing out the details and getting a plan in place. How about meeting up at the apartment after class the next couple of days? Yunho and Mingi won't mind, and maybe it'll get Mingi off his ass and working on his own shit instead of playing games with Yunho all night."

The light joke brought a small smile to Seonghwa's face, though it looked a little more strained than usual. "I'll let you know. My parents tend to be a little iffy if I spend too much time elsewhere after class."

"Whatever works. I can get what I need when you swing by, and work on other things when you can't. I'm _flexible_." Hongjoong threw an emphasis on the last word, giving an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle and grin that brought a small snort of a laugh from Seonghwa.

"Thank you, Hongjoong." 

There was a thickness there, so many different emotions packed into three words, too many things left to be inferred, that Hongjoong choked on any reply he might have given, the grin slowly dropping from his face. The look Seonghwa gave him- too fond, too deep, as if Hongjoong could read the ten billion other emotions and thoughts from a look rather than tone- made his chest ache in the most visceral way. "Yeah no problem," he answered after a moments pause, giving a one armed shrug. "What are friends for?"

* * *

[ woo: so?

woo: did you agree?

woo: spill the deets hongjoong

Hiddies: Im still waiting to hear back from Junhee

woo: you know hes going to let you go

woo: youre like his best employee

woo: hed be dumb not to give you a weekend off

Hiddies: Yeah but I want to make sure before I commit to anything

Hiddies: If I get the days off im gonna go

woo: :eyes:

woo: oh really?

woo: ive seen enough shows to know how this ends

woo: first you win over his parents, and then you win over his heart

Hiddies: Woo we both know Ive already fallen down that hill

woo: yeah i know

woo: >:

woo: you sure youre okay?

Hiddies: Its been over a year

Hiddies: Im fine I promise

woo: i wasnt talking about the confession

woo: i meant with this entire fake dating thing

woo: you think hes coming to his senses?

Hiddies: I dont know

Hiddies: But its fine

Hiddies: Im not going to say sorry hwa cant help you out due to my inability to manage my own dumb feelings

woo: they arent dumb

woo: but okay 

woo: because you know id fight him in a parking lot for you

Hiddies: Woo we both know if you tried fighting Seonghwa he’d pout at you and you’d instantly lose

woo: i came out to have a good time and honestly i feel so attacked right now

woo: but youre not wrong

woo: sorry joong

woo: but ilu and would kill any other man for you <3

Hiddies: I know

Hiddies: Thanks Wooyoung <3

woo: but seriously anyone who wouldnt want to date you needs their eyes checked

Hiddies: Oh my god

woo: seriously hongjoong

woo: if you knew HALF the stuff we talk about when you’re not around

Hiddies: DONT YOU HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING ON

woo: yeosangs forcing me to take a break

woo: >:

woo: were watching some cooking show

woo: save me 

Hiddies: No

woo: traitor ]

He couldn't say his idea of a break from assignments was any better. The textbook sat open next to him, perched precariously on the arm of the couch, Hongjoong curled around his laptop with everything but his research links and documents open. Mingi and Yunho were sprawled out both on the couch and the floor, their own assignments scattered every which way while they twisted and yelled at the game on the tv screen. If the night didn't end with a controller aggressively thrown into a couch cushion, he would consider it a good night. As it stood, dishes from dinner still sat stacked on the little coffee table, waiting for someone to trek to the kitchen for another snack or a drink.

With a small resigned sigh Hongjoong stood, gathering the dishes together while Mingi gave a loud curse, sliding off the couch and flopping onto Yunho as his defeat flashing across the screen. It was a short walk to the kitchen, dropping the plates into the sink and gathering the take out boxes together while the two others wrestled on the floor over one argument or another. In his mission to get dinner cleaned up Hongjoong almost missed the notification on his phone, a little light blinking in the corner his only notice that a text message was waiting for him.

[ Junhee: yeah go ahead

Junhee: enjoy the weekend

Junhee: bk said hed cover ur shifts

Junhee: ill tell ur regulars u left to move to dubai

Hongjoong: Thanks Jun

Junhee: no problem

Junhee: he also said winky face winky face winky face

Hongjoong: ???

Junhee: something about that boytoy of yours

Hongjoong: I'm gonna kill Wooyoung ]

Leaning against the counter, arms resting on the cold counter top, it didn't take much for Hongjoong to open a new app and find the group server he had made so many months ago. It had always been a certain level of active, everyone having different schedules that prompted replies at different times, but for once Hongjoong paid the current conversation little mind, fingers immediately flying to the text box and then across the keyboard.

[ Hiddies: Wooyoung's a dead man

Yeonytail: get in line

woo: wait what did I do now?

Hiddies: Why does bk know

woo: ...

woo: know what?

Hiddies: You know what

ʕ •̀ ω •́ ʔ: That you're going to be seonghwas fake boyfriend?

Hiddies: ...

Hiddies: Why does Jongho know

ʕ •̀ ω •́ ʔ: Wooyoung mass texted everyone when you and hwa left the cafeteria

woo: you traitor

ʕ •̀ ω •́ ʔ: :thumbsup: ]

His head snapped up, eyes locking on the two still in the living room currently looking at their phones after their own notifications lit up. "Did you know?" They stared back before exchanging a sideways look at each other. 

"Uh..." Yunho answered eloquently, unable to meet Hongjoong's eye as he nudged Mingi with an arm.

"Hongjoong, fighting!" was the only thing the red head had to offer, lifting a fist in support.

[ Hiddies: I don't know what I expected

Hiddies: But it wasnt betrayal

woo: ilu ]


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all fun and games until you nearly drive off the road thanks to an ill-timed comment from your passenger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two! I'm breaking up the chapters a different way than I originally had planned, but I think this way I keep my sanity a little longer lmao so, enjoy this amazing road trip.

"Please?"

"No."

"_Pleaaase?_"

"_No_. You're not borrowing my car." Two sets of large puppy dog eyes settled on him, low whines coming from both Yunho and Mingi as they stared over the back of the couch at him. "I know how the two of you drive, and you're not on the insurance."

"What if there's an emergency?" Mingi offered with a tone of triumph, fixing Hongjoong with a look that all but screamed to find something wrong with that. Hongjoong resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead settling on giving his bag one final check over. Partially to keep himself from meeting his roommates looks. Despite having known them for a couple years now, he knew the second he got a look at Mingi he'd be giving in, and the last thing he wanted to do was put himself in a position to hear anything had happened to his car while he was away. 

His parents would skin him alive.

"Then you call me and I'll make a decision based on how bad the emergency is."

"Yeosang electrocuting himself."

"Mingi, you're more likely to electrocute yourself messing with the hdmi cable than Yeosang is doing anything related to his major." He got a huff in response, Mingi slinking farther down the couch though his eyes never left Hongjoong. "One weekend without a car isn't going to kill you. You guys manage just fine every other day of the week."

"Yeah, but you're normally here if we need you." 

Hongjoong couldn't help the pang in his chest at Yunho's innocent words. They weren't wrong. Even during their breaks from university he tended to stay close to campus, busy with work at the cafe or other odd jobs that kept money for rent and tuition flowing. He had always been one phone call or text message away from being where he needed to be to take care of whoever needed it. "I'm still only a phone call away. It's not like I'm going to a different country."

All he got were a couple of disbelieving looks, the topic of the car long forgotten by this point. "You're going to be _two hours_ away. That's basically in another country."

"Guys, it'll be fine. It's only for a weekend. Just think of it as crunch time, and me spending all my time in the studio." He zipped the bag shut in the following silence of frowns, setting his small duffle and laptop bag close to the front door. "Worse comes to worse, we can facetime."

That didn't seem to settle their concerns any. Yunho and Mingi exchanged a look, an entire silent conversation taking place before they turned back around on the couch, busying themselves with homework they should have finished days ago. To say it hurt would have been an understatement. Their concerns were valid, if a little over the top, and only managed to make Hongjoong's own worries start to rise to the surface.

What if something did go wrong? What if he wasn't able to help? He trusted their little group of friends, he really did. They were all mature and smart in their own ways, even if there were multiple incidents that spoke to the contrary, but there was always that nagging thought, that possibility that no matter how safe everyone was shitty things tended to happen, and without any notice.

Hongjoong scrubbed at his face with both hands, giving a sigh ashe tried to force those thoughts far from the front of his mind. "I gotta head to bed. Seonghwa wants to pick me up at ass o'clock in the morning. I'll text you guys when we get there."

All he got were a couple of mumbled responses and a wave of a hand.

Sleep had never come particularly easy for Hongjoong. Most of his nights were spent scrolling through social media or staring at the far wall of his room, waiting and wishing sleep would claim him as easily as it did Mingi or Jongho. His friends had gone from teasing him about the bags under his eyes and odd periods of activity in the middle of the night to sliding him morning coffees and pitying smiles. There was little surprise, then, when a message popped up in his notifications.

[ woo: [image attachment: img4431356h6.jpg]

woo: wait

woo: FUCK

[post deleted]

woo: WRONG CHAT

woo: IF YOU TELL ANYONE I SENT THAT ILL EAT YOU

Hiddies: Did you

Hiddies: Did you really buy a virgin killer sweater

woo: fuck no

woo: i made it 

woo: who the hell do you think i am

Hiddies: Woo.... 

woo: dont judge me

woo: its comfy 

woo: yeosangs gonna have to buy one im not giving this up

Hiddes: YOU MADE IT FOR YEOSANG?!

woo: who else would i make it for

Hiddies: I don't know

Hiddies: San?

woo: nah he wants a tiddy window

woo: different thing entirely

Hiddies: I hate that I'm learning this about you guys

woo: ;) 

woo: maybe i can find out what seonghwa likes for you

Hiddies: Don't you dare 

Hiddies: ...

Hiddies: I hate this silence

Hiddies: Wooyoung I swear to god if you asked Seonghwa I'm going to riot

woo: chill

woo: i didnt ask

woo: i showed yeosang the conversation and he asked

woo: its collars and leather btw youre welcome

Hiddies: WHAT

Hiddies: SO QUICK?

Hiddies: Wait

Hiddies: IS SEONGHWA THERE?!

Hiddies: WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT PICTURE?

woo: relax

woo: hes seen worse

woo: him and yeo are chillin while I wait for san to get off work

woo: jonghos gone for the weekend and sans bed is free real estate

woo: and apparently theyve talked about it before

woo: im slightly insulted i wasnt part of that conversation

Hiddies: I

Hiddies: I cant process this

Hiddies: You took that picture with Yeosang AND Seonghwa right there

Hiddies: AND Yeosang and Seonghwa have talked about clothing preferences

woo: SEXY clothing preferences

Hiddies: Why am I friends with you

woo: <3 ]

With a groan Hongjoong rolled onto his side, setting his phone on the floor next to his bed. There was only a matter of hours until the alarm was set to go off. Why Seonghwa needed to pick him up so early, he didn't know. For now, he pulled his pillow closer, pressing his face into the softness and trying to will himself to sleep.

He only woke once during the night when two bodies crawled into bed on either side of him. Arms wrapped around him, one face pressing against the back of his shoulders, another resting a chin on top of his head. Legs tangled with his, pinning Hongjoong between two tall giant dogs that thought trying to crawl into his tiny full sized bed for the night was a good idea. Yunho and Mingi didn't have to say anything for Hongjoong to know what it was. An apology and a statement rolled into one convenient pile. Hongjoong knew, and he curled into the both of them as much as he could, sure they would understand his response.

He would miss them too.

With warmth on either side of him, sleep came easier than usual, and the sound of his alarm cut through his comfort all too quickly.

* * *

"When you said early, I didn't think you meant 6am early," Hongjoong groaned into the window of the car, head resting against the glass despite the jolting of uneven roads. He could barely pay attention to the passing of street lights and other cars out on the roads at a time of the morning that shouldn't exist. "I took afternoon classes like a responsible person for a reason. Any time before 10am is fake and shouldn't exist."

Seonghwa gave an amused hum over the music that played low through the speakers. "You don't have to stay up. If you're tired, nap. I'll wake you when we get there."

"No." It came out more of a whine, Hongjoong shifting in his seat until he was sitting upright instead of slouching, pawing at his bag for his phone. "I've done long quiet car rides before. As the driver, it's not easy. The least I can do is stay up and try to be decent company." He pawed around for the aux cord he knew existed somewhere within the space of Seonghwa's car, giving a triumphant noise when he found it. Getting everything set up didn't take long, and soon music drifted through the speakers. "There. That should help."

"Really? Your own songs?"

"Don't judge me. I have to have _some_ pride in my work."

"Hongjoong, if you had any more pride in your music you'd speak in nothing but lyrics."

"I can do that-"

"Please, spare me."

"Are you trying to tell me something, Park Seonghwa? Do you not like my music?"

"I love your music as much as I love you."

Hongjoong tried to let the words and tone roll off his back, tried to work around the knot that formed in his chest. It was hard considering the small amused smile that continued to curl at Seonghwa's lips since the start of their conversation, and the way his eyes stole glances towards him when Seonghwa could spare a second or two from the road. He didn't look at Seonghwa, couldn't as he fiddled with the radio to find a different song. "Which is?"

"The right amount."

What did that mean? What qualified as the right amount? Unable to pretend to fiddle with the music any longer, Hongjoong leaned back left casting glances at Seonghwa who didn't seem aware of the impact those few simple words had on his companion. There was a familiar pang in his chest, one he hadn't felt in months, since before he had gathered what little courage he had to confess his feelings. Like Seonghwa was still in the dark, and he was reading into every action, every sentence, grasping for the tiniest bit of affection.

Hongjoong purposely bit his cheek, drawing himself out of those dangerous thoughts. No going back there. He had confessed to avoid falling down that hole again. Seonghwa would give him an answer when he was ready, and reading into anything before that wasn't going to help either of them.

"We should stop for coffee," Hongjoong offered, attention back on the passing scenery. "Something to keep both of us awake." Seonghwa gave a hum at the idea. "And you can treat me since you _love me as much as you love my music_." The scandalized look Seonghwa snapped towards him brought a cheshire smile to his face. "And you woke me up at the ass crack of dawn. It's the least you can do."

"Watching the sunrise is _beautiful_, thank you very much."

"Not when it's directly into your eyes and the car visor can't block it out." Hongjoong pawed at it to emphasize his point, squinting against the sunlight that still assaulted him.

Seonghwa gave half a snort and half a laugh, sure to be followed by a pout on his lips. Hongjoong couldn't look at him to tell what was going through his friend's head. If he did, he'd cave. He knew it. He wasn't, however, expecting Seonghwa to reach over, yanking the hat perched on Hongjoong's head down to cover his eyes, getting a strangled yelp from Hongjoong as his vision went dark and head jerked forward. "Seonghwa!"

"You're just short."

"I'm a reasonable height! You're just tall! You're all tall! Why are all my friends _trees_!"

"It's because we're reasonable heights, and you're-"

"Don't finish that sentence."

"-closer to hell." Seonghwa flashed him a smile as Hongjoong sank farther down into the seat- slightly uncomfortable and completely unsafe- lips pushing out in a pout and arms settled across his chest. It did nothing to help with his issues with the sun. His hat did, blocking out most of the light, but he could only imagine what a sight he must have made. Bucket hats did not make for the most imposing of scenes.

It didn't take long for Seonghwa to pull into a coffee shop, nudging Hongjoong to get his attention. "I have no idea what to order. You're the coffee expert."

"Want your usual?"

"Please."

"Latte with toffee nut and cinnamon dolce syrup, an extra shot of espresso, and caramel drizzle because you have to be a heathen."

"Is that what you really add to my drink?"

"Listen, you're the one that came into the cafe asking for, and I quote here, 'something that will keep you awake through your classes but doesn't taste like shit'. I did what I could without adding an obnoxious amount of extra espresso shots. If you didn't have a weird hatred for bitter things, it would have been way easier. I could have loaded you up on espresso and sent you on your way." 

It had been a rather interesting day, and a rather interesting order, one that left Hongjoong staring as he tried to figure out exactly what to punch into the till. Seonghwa had never asked him what he did, hadn't bothered to look at the little sticker on the cup, just simply trusting Hongjoong and his knowledge every time he walked into the cafe in the mornings. He had received more than one confused text on his days off, asking for whatever the hell he did to Seonghwa's drink, until he had eventually left a note by the register.

Byeongkwan still gave him shit about it.

Seonghwa fixed him with an amused look and a smile, giving a small roll of his eyes. "Alright, Frankenstein, what do you want?"

"An iced americano is fine."

"That's it?"

"I need the espresso. And breakfast. One of those bacon egg, and sausage wraps."

Hongjoong was pleased as punch when Seonghwa rattled the order off, only stumbling a moment over his own order- Hongjoong having to repeat it again for him to get it correct. Morning coffee was always a blessing, even more so when he wasn't the one that had to pay for it. He sunk into the passengers seat with his hands curling around the cup, taking a testing sip. "Alright. Important question. Boundaries. How much is too much?"

Seonghwa gave a hum, attention momentarily distracted while he pulled out of the parking lot. "I honestly don't know how my parents will react, so keeping things chaste and light would be the best."

"Alright, but what about _your_ boundaries? I know our entire friend group is pretty touchy feely, but is anything off-limits? Like, I'm fine with about anything, but I hate people touching my feet and pulling on my ears. Smushing cheeks is on thin ice. I'm not big on holding hands, but I love cuddling. That sort of stuff."

Hongjoong watched from the corner of his eye as Seonghwa's face scrunched in thought. "I haven't given it much thought." Though his eyes were on the road- shifting during a slow glide into the other lane- Hongjoong could see his mind elsewhere, thinking on the question posed to him. "What we normally do is fine. The cuddling, the teasing. No one's crossed any boundaries yet."

"Lucky you."

"Who got on your bad side?"

"I kicked Yunho in the face." Hongjoong bristled at the snort Seonghwa gave, trying to hide a smile behind his hand. "Don't laugh! I thought I broke his nose!" He could practically feel the embarrassed flush spread across his face, sliding down in his seat with his arms folding over his chest, careful of his drink. "It wasn't long after we moved into the apartment. He touched my feet when I was laying on the couch. I reacted. And then _Mingi_ thought it was hilarious, and tried pinning me to the couch so he could tickle my feet."

"Is that how he hurt his back that night?"

"... I'm not admitting anything."

"Is there anything else I should know about so I'm not assaulted in my own home?"

"No, that's about it."

From the corner of his eye Hongjoong noticed the disbelieving look Seonghwa angled towards him, some amusement still dancing in his eyes. "And the biting?"

He froze with the straw of his drink to his lips, knowing it wasn't Mingi tattling to the other for Hongjoong's sometimes aggressive behavior, but the fact that Hongjoong bit _everyone_ in their friend group at least once. On multiple occasions. Out of love. "What is this, twenty questions?"

Seonghwa gave a knowing hum. "It could be."

"Oh, is that what we're doing now? We're playing twenty questions?"

"Are we?"

"Alright, you cryptic asshole. Have you been in a relationship before?"

"Why did you start with _that_?"

"Answer the question."

There was an unmistakable pout present, one that Hongjoong refused to look at. Seonghwa took his sweet time answering, dragging it out as long as he possibly could. Hongjoong waited patiently, sipping his drink and idly playing around on his phone. Seonghwa could wait as long as he wanted to, Hongjoong wasn't going to give in. If there was something he was known for, it was his stubbornness.

"Not really anything that you could call a relationship. Some flings here or there." He didn't look like he wanted to admit to anything like that, his attention anywhere but at Hongjoong, grip on the steering wheel tightening. "What about you?"

Hongjoong didn't take nearly as long as Seonghwa to answer. "Twice. Once in high school. Lasted for a couple years until we went off to uni. Didn't last long after that. We just sort of drifted apart." He shrugged. It didn't bother him as much as it had back then, an inevitable they should have seen coming considering the distance and how taxing their degrees were. "I was actually still in my second relationship when you and I first met. It was ..." The concerned look Seonghwa cast in his direction told Hongjoong he had seen the wince. "A messy break up."

"What happened?"

"Nope, it's my turn. Family pets?"

"None. My parents aren't big on animals, so I was never around them growing up. What happened?"

There was no getting around it now. Not unless he wanted to forego the game they had been playing for only a matter of minutes. "She got jealous. Like, crazy jealous. I was starting to hang out with Wooyoung and Yeosang a lot. Y'know, with my music assignments and trying to find a vocalist. She spread some pretty nasty rumors about me, we got into a fight, and now she's banned from the cafe. When Yeosang found out what she said, I thought he was gonna deck her. Wooyoung had to hold him back."

"You guys are close." It was a fond statement, soft and light despite the information Hongjoong had just unloaded.

There was no stopping the smile that crossed his face at the thought of his friends. "Yeah." A moment of silence stretched between them, Hongjoong recalling the memories from only a couple years ago while taking a long sip of his coffee. "Alright, enough moping." He straightened in his seat, giving a little shake of his head. "If you weren't in business, what would you want to do?"

"When I was a kid, I wanted to be a dinosaur."

"And now?"

Seonghwa opened his mouth as if he were going to reply, but paused, brows scrunching together. "I don't know. I never had a choice in what I was going to get a degree in. My parents shot down any idea I had when I was younger, so I just... stopped thinking about it."

"Is there anything that stands out?"

Hongjoong got a half amused look thrown at him, Seonghwa's attention briefly pulling from the road to him. "Isn't it my turn for a question?"

It was a clear desire to change the subject, and if Hongjoong looked close enough that small amused smile held a hint of something tense and sad, as well. Far be it from him to push Seonghwa into answering something he didn't want to. As curious as he was, he wasn't an asshole. "Fine. What's your question?"

"Why music?"

"It was a no brainer. Ever since I was little I was always interested in it. My parents used to tell me stories of me making up my own songs and dances. They thought it was the cutest thing. Growing older, I never stopped loving it. So, when college time rolled around, it was the only thing I could think of wanting a degree in."

"Your parents had nothing to do with your decision?"

"Oh, they had a lot to do with it. They _constantly_ tried to talk me out of it. They can't understand why I'd want to go for music and not something more stable, but the constant badgering and pestering just made me want to go that much more. It's my life, and I'm not going to let anyone else tell me how I should live it. I'm going to work my ass off to prove them wrong."

"I never took you to be petty."

"There's a lot you don't know about me."

A small hum, the steady click of a blinker, and Hongjoong swore he saw the faintest hint of a smug smile grace Seonghwa's features. "Well, I know you dj at Horizon on the weekends."

Hongjoong choked on his drink, curling over himself as he tried to cough the coffee out of his lungs. "How do you-" He paused to try to clear out his throat some more, voice a little tight. "How do you know about that?"

"I've been invited once or twice. Everyone's proud of you, Hongjoong. They want to support you in whatever ways they can. To the point of threatening bodily harm if I didn't go with them at least once."

He had known from comments and promises that the others frequented the club while he was working. San and Wooyoung loved the scene in general, Yeosang tagging along every once in a while to appease them. Yunho and Mingi didn't show as much, but still made a point to swing by, Yunho enjoying the dancing while Mingi chatted up friends around the bar. Even Jongho had stopped by once or twice, though for not nearly as long as the others. He had apologized, stating clubs weren't really his thing. Which was fine. Hongjoong had never expected any of them to actually stop by, and the first time they had cornered him after, complimenting and commenting on his work, he had cried. Gross sobbing that had Wooyoung pulling him into a hug, everyone steadily adding their arms to the pile until it turned into a group hug with him stuck in the middle getting tears and snot on any sleeve within easy distance.

Even just hearing Seonghwa speak of the support system that was their group of friends had him getting emotional, though Hongjoong would sooner chaulk that up to the early morning. "I'm gonna eat Wooyoung when we get back. What the hell."

"It was Yeosang."

"That's worse!" he groaned, head thunking against the window. "Wooyoung I could have gotten away with. No one will let me eat Yeosang."

Seonghwa gave an amused hum, reaching out to pat his leg in what Hongjoong hoped was comfort and not pity. 

Not having both hands on the wheel nearly got them killed when Hongjoong asked without any hesitation or preface, "So, do you have a crush on anyone on campus?" and Seonghwa nearly drove them off the road.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry this one took so long. Considering the state of everything right now things have been a little hectic. Here it is! The next chapter. From here on out things do start to get a little heavy. I'll update the tags as appropriate as chapters start involving more and more things. For now there is a bit of homophobia at the end. 
> 
> With this, I'll also be taking a break to work on a oneshot with a due date. I'm hoping it won't take too long and I can get the next chapter out soonish, but I unfortunately cannot make any promises. I am excited, though, because the next chapter has some things I'm excited for. We're in it now, folks.
> 
> tw:// slight homophobia at the end.

Hongjoong had learned during their touch and go game of twenty questions that Seonghwa's parents were both in business, the plan being for their perfect son to finish his degree and join one of them at their company. Seonghwa didn't particularly like their plans for him, but could do nothing to sway their minds on the matter. He also learned that if Seonghwa could live the life of anyone from a movie he'd choose Toothless. Which made an odd amount of sense considering what he knew about him.

Nothing, however, could prepare Hongjoong for the home Seonghwa pulled up to. A large modern style house with an immaculate yard that he was sure cost more than his parents made in a year. It was more than a little intimidating, and for the first time since agreeing to the trip Hongjoong felt anxiety begin to bubble. If the home was this intimidating, he could only begin to image what sort of people lived inside of it.

"You don't have to worry," Seonghwa said, bumping Hongjoong's arm with his and giving him a reassuring smile. "My parents won't be home until later."

Hongjoong froze, staring at Seonghwa as his mouth opened and closed, trying to process what was just said, mind going blank.

He had to wonder, did Seonghwa know what he was doing? Was it all part of some elaborate scheme set to stretch the entire weekend in an effort to finally give him an answer? Seonghwa had mentioned keeping things chaste and light around his parents, but the more that was said the more Hongjoong compared it a game of gay chicken. What would give in first, his sanity or his gay panic? At this point, he wasn't sure he could tell which side would win out. Hongjoong wasn't sure what side he _wanted_ to win out. 

Maybe his sanity.

If he hadn't lost that already.

Inside the building was as put together as the outside, minimalist in design with not a single spot out of place. It did little to help settle the growing anxiety, Hongjoong too nervous to set his stuff down or do much but trail along behind Seonghwa as he move through the home, casting glances at meticulously positioned furniture and wall art. The room he was led to wasn't much better. It had a little more of a personal touch, but there was so much open space left unfilled. The cleanliness, though, was so very Seonghwa that he couldn't help but smile.

Hongjoong dropped his bags on the bed, noting the little knickknacks and decor that spoke volumes about Seonghwa. A small animated movie collection, an even larger collection of drama box sets. There were some cute little plushies positioned around a monitor on a desk with a few aesthetically placed potted plants- Hongjoong couldn't tell if they were fake or not- scattered around. "If your parents aren't here, why'd we get here so early?"

"I wanted you to have a chance to settle in without them breathing down your neck." Seonghwa moved about the room, rearranging things here or there as he did so. He didn't look happy as he did, a small frown curling the corners of his lips down, and even from his spot by the bed Hongjoong could see a flash of irritation every time he had to move something else.

"And that had to be at ass o'clock in the morning?"

"It's almost nine, Hongjoong."

"I stand by what I said." Seonghwa flashed him a small smile, hands curled around a small plushie. The caffeine and actually moving around had helped wake him up, but it was still a matter of time until the lack of sleep caught up to him. "You have a nice room. It's very... you."

The look Seonghwa gave him- a little skeptical, a little on edge- would have been amusing, if he wasn't sincere. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Mm, organized?" There wasn't much other way to describe it. Seonghwa had always been the cleanest of their group, the one coming across as the most put together. The room seemed to reflect that, everything having its space with minimal room for disorganization and clutter. A stark contrast to his own disaster of a living space with crafts and text books scattered every which way.

Seonghwa gave a small snort, coming to sit on the edge of the bed next to Hongjoong, plushie set in his lap as his hands toyed with the little paws. "It'd be better if my parents wouldn't come into my room and move my things around."

"They do that?"

"They use the time I'm not here to snoop. They think they're clever trying to put everything back how it was, but it's very obvious." The briefest of smiles flashed across Seonghwa's face, there and gone as quickly as it could with his attention never lifting from the little dragon plush.

"You come back every weekend, right? And they still-?"

"Mmhm."

All Hongjoong could do was wince. "You're an adult."

"And despite that, they refuse to loosen their hold on the life they have so carefully cultivated." There was no mistaking the bitterness in his voice, or the way his eyes narrowed and his fidgeting stilled.

"Dude, that's not healthy."

"I'll be fine." Seonghwa flashed him a quick smile, but it didn't take someone skilled in reading him to notice the lack of emotion behind it. "I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be used to it. Your parents need to back off." Not for the first time, Hongjoong began to wonder what he got himself into. What sort of people Seonghwa's parents were. He had been warned they were controlling, but he hadn't realized how much that extended beyond Seonghwa's degree choice. It made his own parents look like saints in comparison.

The vibrations of Seonghwa's phone interrupted them, accompanied by a chiming tone that belonged to the app they used for group conversations. Brows knitted together, and it was only his time spent learning Seonghwa's tells that had Hongjoong knowing it was out of curiosity more than concern. It didn't take long for Seonghwa's face to light up, hiding a laugh behind his free hand for a second, smile cracking his face as he quickly types out a comment or two before turning his phone so Hongjoong could see.

Hongjoong leaned forward, squinting slightly to better see the words on the lit up screen.

[ Big Middie Committee: tell joong we need to borrow his car while you two are on your honeymoon

Big Middie Committee: joongs hella whipped for you

two dogs in a trench coat: if i have to buy yeosang lunch again my wallet is going to riot

Big Middie Committee: if you ask he cant say no

Big Middie Committee: im already rioting

hwa: What did Hongjoong say?

two dogs in a trench coat: ;w; back a guy up seonghwa

Big Middie Committee: no

hwa: and you're asking me why?

two dogs in a trench coat: hes not the boss of you

hwa: thats not how this works ]

"What a bunch of losers," Hongjoong snorted, not bothering to hide his amusement like Seonghwa had earlier. Not where Yunho and Mingi were concerned, deserving every remark he could think to throw at them. Years of friendship and rooming together gave him that right.

"But they're your losers."

"Yeah, unfortunately." But it was true, as much as he complained. Yunho and Mingi were two of his closest friends, two people he would trust with his life if it came down to it. His life would be nowhere near the same if their loud and wacky chaos wasn't present. "What do you want to bet they try texting me in like ten minutes asking to borrow my car?"

Seonghwa gave a hum. "Lunch? They text you within ten minutes I'll make lunch, if they don't, you make it?"

"Seonghwa, I can make like three things, and they all come from a box."

"Small details. We'll make it work." Hongjoong gave a dramatic roll of his eyes, smile curling the corners of his lips at Seonghwa's confidence. "We can wait downstairs. The living room is more comfortable than my room this time of day. Plus, we can turn on Netflix."

It was during their trek to the living room, only minutes having passed since the bet had been made, Hongjoong dragging the bag with his laptop with him, that his phone started going crazy. One notification couldn't finish before another came in. Hongjoong shot Seonghwa a devilish grin, flopping onto the couch with his arms spread. "Hope you have something grand planned."

"For all you know it could be Wooyoung."

Seonghwa wasn't _wrong_. Wooyoung was just as guilty of mass spamming messages as Yunho and Mingi were, and at a much more frequent pace. Considering the timing, though, Hongjoong had little doubt who was actually messaging him. His thoughts were confirmed when he dug his phone out of his pocket, grin splitting across his face again, turning his phone to proudly show Seonghwa how wrong he was.

"I know my roommates."

[ two dogs in a trench coat: HONGJOONG!!!!!!!!

Big Middie Committee: HONGJOONG WE GOT A PROBLEM!!!!

Big Middie Committee: YOU NEED TO CALL US ASAP

two dogs in a trench coat: UNLESS YOU AND SEONGHWA ARE MEETING THE PARENTS

two dogs in a trench coat: IN WHICH CASE IGNORE US

two dogs in a trench coat: ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS

Big Middie Committee: YUNHO ]

Seonghwa stuck his lips out in a pout, giving a small huff. "Couldn't they have waited five more minutes?" There was a pause where the pout turned suspicious, Seonghwa moving to snag Hongjoong's phone from his hands and scroll up through the conversation. "You didn't message them about our bet, did you?"

"Me?" Hongjoong put on the best innocent look he could, looking up at Seonghwa and batting his eyes. "I would _never_!" He took the moment Seonghwa glanced at him in disbelief to grab his phone back, existing out of the app and shoving his phone back in his pocket before Seonghwa could hound him for it again. No need for him to see too far back into his conversation history with the two and the embarrassing things that had been said. "So, what's for lunch?"

There was a moment where Hongjoong was sure Seonghwa was going to pick up the nearest pillow and smother him, their eyes locking and a spark of tense energy between them before Seonghwa huffed and stood, stalking off to the kitchen. "Something sweet, Seonghwa! I'm feeling fruity!"

He waited until he was sure Seonghwa was busy in the kitchen, hearing the cupboards opening and closing as he took stock of what ingredients his parents had, before digging his phone back out and focusing on the conversation about his car.

[ Hiddies: No

Big Middie Committee: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS

two dogs in a trench coat: Canweborrowyourcartogettoandfromcampusidontwanttokeepaskingyeosangforrides

Hiddies: ...

Hiddies: I'm not going to begin trying to understand that

Hiddies: The answer is still no

Big Middie Committee: LAME

Hiddies: Call Yeosang for a ride

Big Middie Committee: SO YOU DID READ IT

two dogs in a trench coat: ;w;

two dogs in a trench coat: he makes me treat him to lunch every time

two dogs in a trench coat: do you know how much he eats joong?

two dogs in a trench coat: a lot!!!!! 

two dogs in a trench coat: i dont have that kind of money!!!!!!

Big Middie Committee: and I do?!

two dogs in a trench coat: thats different

two dogs in a trench coat: you love me ]

The two devolved into their own conversation, the talk of borrowing his car luckily left behind. It didn't take much to mute it, setting his phone off to the side, and getting up to check on Seonghwa.

Time seemed to fly after that. Hongjoong kept Seonghwa company in the kitchen, picking at the ingredients to eat bits here or there while he was judged from the corner of Seonghwa's eye. They chatted some more while waiting on the food, Hongjoong getting a little more information about the adults he would be interacting with, Seonghwa's childhood going up, and the dreaded dinner that was mere days away. While worried about his parents and how they would react to Hongjoong, it seemed that a lot of the stress that radiated from Seonghwa came from thinking about the dinner. A time when not only would it be his parents, but an aunt and uncle, and his grandmother, too. More people than Hongjoong would have thought.

The food Seonghwa prepared was decent enough to get a few teases from Hongjoong, a smirk on his face as he wondered out loud what their master chef Kang Yeosang would think of the dish, delving into a terrible impression of their friend that had Seonghwa hiding a snort behind his hand. None of them were particularly _good_ in the kitchen. Everyone had a couple dishes they could confidently make. Enough that they didn't always have to survive on take out. It never stopped Yeosang from making good natured remarks about their meals.

Sprawled out on the couch together after lunch, shows and movies playing across the tv as time drifted by, idly talking here or there as topics came to mind was nice. The couch was comfortable, Hongjoong had to give Seonghwa's family that. It was plush enough for him to sink into without it being overly soft but firm enough for his back to not protest at every little adjustment he made to his posture. Not that he wanted to move, considering how comfy he was lounging on the couch with his legs across Seonghwa's lap and his head resting comfortably on the arm rest. It hit him in the middle of their second movie, attention momentarily snapping to the clock on his phone, that he had forgotten a promise.

He held his phone up between two fingers, swinging it to catch Seonghwa's attention. "You cool if I facetime the disaster duo? I told them I'd let them know when I got here so they know you didn't kidnap me and leave me dead on the side of the road."

"Did they really...?"

"I'm paraphrasing a thirty minute conversation on the safety of stranger danger from this morning."

Seonghwa looked torn between amusement and offended. "We've known each other for a couple years."

Hongjoong gave a shrug, dropping his phone on his chest. "They're giant dogs with separation anxiety." 

The look Seonghwa gave him, knowing with the smallest hint of sarcastic questioning as one eyebrow raised at him, had him on edge before Seonghwa could open his mouth. Hongjoong eyed him from the corner of his eye, every part of him frozen as he tried to determine if the next thing from Seonghwa's mouth would need a violent reaction or not. 

"And how are you holding up?"

Ah. Maybe not violent. Hongjoong continued to eye him for a moment before sighing, sliding a little bit farther down into the couch, chin to his chest as he focused on his phone. "Honestly? Trying not to think about it. I'm sure it'll hit me tonight." When he would be surrounded by nothing but quiet, left to his own thoughts as the room seemed too big and too small at the same time. Without the comforting presence of Yunho or Mingi, two close friends who just _knew_ when something was off without him having to say anything, and did what they could to offer reassurance and support in whatever ways they could.

Seonghwa gave his knee a reassuring squeeze. "I'm beginning to wonder how you get through breaks and holidays." 

It was meant as a joke, Hongjoong knew that. It was clear in the small smile and the light tone Seonghwa tried to keep, but there were memories there. Memories and emotions he had worked hard to overcome. Of times when he couldn't- or rather wouldn't- head home and enjoy time with his family like everyone else, choosing responsibility over his own wants and desires. 

Hongjoong pushed those thoughts down, giving a slight shrug. "I don't. I get adopted by Junhee's gang. You don't know chaos until you've seen Junhee and Donghun get into a biting match over Chan."

"Who wins?"

"Sehyoon." Hongjoong chuckled at the confused look Seonghwa gave him, waving a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. It's fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to call Yunho and Mingi." He didn't give Seonghwa a chance to say anything else, lifting his phone and finding what he wanted with practiced ease.

The call rang once, twice, three times before it was picked up with a singsonged, "Hongjoong~" from a voice and a face that was clearly not Yunho or Mingi. He could see the two of them in the background laying on the floor of a dance studio, Mingi in between Yunho's legs with his head resting on his stomach. They perked up at his name, heads whipping towards the camera.

"Hey, Yeosang."

There was a flurry of movement and noise, Yeosang quickly standing and moving as Yunho and Mingi scrambled to stand and follow after him, throwing whines and complaints after him as if those would slow Yeosang down any. "How's the vacation?"

"Seonghwa almost drove us off the road." He ignored the sharp smack to his leg and the scandalized look. "But it's good. We're chillin' waiting for his parents to get home. What are you doing?"

"Helping Yunho with his choreography." There was a moment of blurred movement, Yeosang picking up his pace and twisting out of the way, sending Yunho and Mingi staggering into something Hongjoong couldn't see. "He asked me to drive them to the studio in exchange for lunch." From the background Hongjoong could barely make out Yunho whining something about how much Yeosang eats. "So, I decided to stick around and offer some critique while waiting for food."

"You're not critiquing! You're dragging everything! I want Seonghwa! Seonghwa, come trade places with your evil doppleganger! At least you offer helpful criticism!"

"I offer helpful criticisms!"

"You told me-"

"Alright, alright. Children, please." Hongjoong pinched the bridge of his nose. He had thought himself free from the headaches that came with babysitting their group of friends. He sat up, maneuvering himself on the couch until he sat leaning against Seonghwa's side. "How about Yunho shows us what he's got, and the peanut gallery stays quiet?"

Yeosang gave a huff as Yunho shoved himself into the frame, eyes shining and a smile on his face. "Yeah! Hold on. Yeosang, stay there. Mingi!"

Yeosang turned the camera enough for them to see him give a good natured roll of his eyes before it focused back onto Yunho and Mingi. Despite his complaints and comments, Yeosang kept the camera as steady as possible, focusing on the reflections in the mirrors instead of the dancers themselves. He offered as much good advice and criticisms as Hongjoong and Seonghwa did, Yunho taking eveything they said to heart.

They alternated between idle chatter, commenting on school and their other friends, and helping, time dragging on quicker than any of them could have thought. Before any of them knew it, Yunho's time in the studio came to an end, and Hongjoong's phone gave an obnoxious tone as a notification took over the screen.

"Shit, my phone's dying. We gotta go."

"Aww," Yeosang groaned, flipping the camera around to give a little wave. "Have fun, guys. Love you~"

"Wait, Yeosang, I want to-" The call cut before Yunho could finish, his face only appearing in the corner over Yeosang's shoulder before the video was gone. Hongjoong could only imagine what sort of terror Yeosang had unleashed onto himself. While normally a fun loving guy, Yunho could have his irritated moments same as anyone else, and being cut off mid sentence when he had something to say was probably up there on Yunho's list of frustrating no-nos. With Mingi there, though, hopefully things wouldn't escalate too terribly.

Ah well. If it was important, he'd find himself with a text later. There was little he could do about it from so far away, a thought that caused a pang of guilt and pain to lace through his heart. Maybe... the thought sat half finished at the front of his mind, teeth digging into his lower lip as he stared at the home screen of his phone. Maybe one little message. Just to make sure things were okay.

[ Hiddies: Don't murder Yeosang

Hiddies: If you get blood on those floors your instructor will never forgive you

Hiddies: I'll be around later tonight

Hiddies: I'll shoot you a text when I'm free and we can chat ]

He didn't expect an answer right away, nor did he get one. It was an unspoken agreement that everyone would get to their messages when they could, having busy schedules that fluctuated depending on the day and the week. It would have been too much pressure to try to balance the near constant stream of messages that was the group chat on top of individual dms, classes, projects, assignments, work, and anything else that decided to pop up out of the blue. It was a different matter entirely for emergencies, a system in place early on in the group's friendship that had worked well for them so far. Call once, and if someone didn't pick up, call again right after. None of them had to use it too often, most of the time the system being used for breakdowns that needed a little extra care, or the occasional dance injury that required a second person's help in moving from the practice room. Hongjoong didn't know what he'd do if he was suddenly faced with serious emergency.

But when his phone didn't ring, and his messages went unanswered, it helped him come to terms with whatever Yunho was going to say, it hadn't been life or death important.

Hongjoong pawed at his bag, digging out his charger, settling back against Seonghwa. A quick glance up had him pausing, momentarily entranced by the utterly soft and borderline fond look that had made it's way across Seonghwa's face. Hongjoong wouldn't say it was a rare sight, but to see it up close, to notice the way stars seemed to shine in Seonghwa's eyes, was something else entirely. A something that caused his stomach to flip and butterflies he thought had been caged and managed to flutter free once more.

He snapped out of it with a sharp shake of his head, gaze dropping down as one hand lifted and unceremoniously poked Seonghwa right in the side. "You miss them." There was an unmistakable singsong of a tease to his words, smile pulling at his lips.

"Hm?"

"You miss everyone back at campus."

"Of course. I always miss you guys when I'm not there."

"Do you miss anyone more than the others?" It wasn't meant as a legitimate question, Hongjoong knowing it was something there was no right answer to. And yet, he couldn't help the way his chest tightened as he glanced back up, hoping to whatever deity was listening to that out of any answer Seonghwa might give, that it'd be his name on his lips.

It didn't help that Seonghwa tilted his head back, exposing the line of his neck, one hand brought to his chin as he gave a hum of thought. An extremely long hum of thought. One that caused Seonghwa's lips to turn up at the corners the longer it dragged on. It dragged a huff out of Hongjoong, a pout that could rival Seonghwa's making itself known as fingers poked a long line up Seonghwa's side. "Don't play coy. We know you have your favorites."

It was almost comical the way Seonghwa's eyes widened, the hand that was on his chin dropping to his chest as he twisted to face Hongjoong. "Me? Having favorites?"

"Like you wouldn't drop everything for Yeosang or San."

"And what about you? Who are your favorites? Yunho and Mingi? Wooyoung?"

That earned Seonghwa a hard jab to the fleshy part of his side. "Who says I have favorites?"

"Please. It's impossible to not love Wooyoung."

"Loving him and him being a favorite are two different things."

This time Seonghwa poked him in the side, earning a sharp yelp and twist from Hongjoong. "Oh really?"

Before either of them knew it, a question about favorites had turned into a tickle match. Hongjoong was close to falling off the couch, sprawled on his back with one leg up between him and Seonghwa, hands grasping at Seonghwa's wrists, determined to keep those dastardly long fingers at bay as long as possible. Despite the lack of poking and prodding it still ended with them bursting out into laughter. Seonghwa dropped onto the couch next to Hongjoong, one warm wrapping around him to keep Hongjoong from falling off. Turning his head, catching Seonghwa's gaze, it only made Hongjoong burst out into another round of laughs.

They spent too much time like that, sprawled next to each other as much as they could, laughing every now and then for no reason other than they could while the tv played in the background. It was... nice, in a way that was different from hanging out with anyone else. Relaxing without having to worry about filling the silence. Comforting to enjoy each other's company for the sake of enjoying it. It had been too long since him and Seonghwa had spent some decent time alone together without deadlines and work looming over their heads.

"I missed this," Hongjoong admitted before he could stop himself, staring up at the ceiling of the living room. He was answered with a questioning hum too close to his ear for comfort. "Us hanging out."

"We've hung out."

"Yeah, but not like this. Not just us. Usually we're babysitting a bunch of 5 year olds in 20 year old bodies. If its not Yunho, Mingi, or Jongho it's San, Yeosang, and Wooyoung. Or we're working on assignments. It's been too long since it was like this. Not since before I-" Hongjoong cut himself off, realization setting in.

Not since before he had confessed.

"Not since when?"

"It-"

Anything he was about to say became tangled up in a yelp that startled him from his position on the couch, half his body sliding off while his attention snapped towards the sound of a door harshly opening and closing, and the voices that followed not long after. Seonghwa shifted on the couch, setting a hand on Hongjoong knee and giving a squeeze.

"He's home so soon! I thought I'd have time to prepare. Seonghwa! Seonghwa, honey!" Two people rounded the corner into the living space. Looking at the two of them Hongjoong could see where Seonghwa's looks came from. It was clear his mother took care with her appearance, looking young and put together with nothing out of place, a smile on her face that lit up her eyes. His father was a tall man, every bit put together has his wife with eyes that danced when they settled on Seonghwa.

Both of them came to a screeching halt when their attention landed on Hongjoong, smiles turning confused. His father's eyes flicked between him and Seonghwa as if demanding answers while Seonghwa's mother glanced him up and down, lips pressed into a fine line, the judgement clear upon her face.

"Mother, father, this is Hongjoong. My boyfriend."

The word settled weird in Hongjoong's stomach, but he did his best to smile, standing to offer a more polite greeting. "It's good to meet you-"

Words died once more as she sharply turned away from him, her attention settling on Seonghwa with the most forced smile Hongjoong thought he had ever seen. And that was saying something considering his line of work. "Darling, I thought you moved past this phase of your life. When you said you were bringing someone to dinner, I didn't think you meant..." Her sentence trailed off, eyes flicking to Hongjoong and then back to Seonghwa.

And it was with those couple of lines that Hongjoong realized he was in for one hell of a weekend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience while I worked on a few smaller things! I think it really helped me get motivation to work on this chapter. I wrote most of it in a matter of a couple days!
> 
> Anyway, from here on out the chapters are going to get longer, so I hope you guys enjoy!

"So..." Seonghwa's mother drawled from her seat at the head of the table, eyes calculating as she looked over what was visible above the table. She lingered on his face, and he could practically _feel_ her displeasure as his piercings caught the light of the chandelier hanging above them, the curl of her lips turning more than a little forced.

From where he sat next to Seonghwa, Hongjoong flashed her his own smile, trying not to let her inattentiveness rub him the wrong way. "Hongjoong." 

"Hongjoong." There was a _tone_ to how she said his name, one that caused the hairs on the back of his neck to rise and tension to grow in his shoulders. Seonghwa gave his thigh a reassuring squeeze under the table, and Hongjoong could see the quick look Seonghwa flashed him from the corner of his eye. "How did you and Seonghwa meet?"

"We met at a coffee shop, and turned out we both go to the same university."

"Oh!" She seemed to brighten a bit at that, even if she cast him a bit of a suspicious look, like she couldn't believe he of all people went to the same school as her precious son. "Business?"

He knew what she meant, knew thanks to the warnings from Seonghwa that she was wondering if they happened to share the same major as well. No doubt ready to judge him more regardless of his response. Might as well make it fun. "Not in a literal sense, but Commercial Music does involve experience with professionals within the business."

"Commercial music?" Her nose scrunched, and the way she said it made it clear the words weren't comfortable on her tongue.

"It's..." Hongjoong paused, trying to think of the best and easiest way to explain it, purposely sliding his hand int Seonghwa's and resting them on the top of the table, idly playing with his fingers while giving a hum of thought. If Seonghwa cast him another glance, Hongjoong chose to ignore it, instead focusing on the way his mother's eyes dropped to their hands, barely hiding a grimace. "It's a program that covers a wide area of music. My focus is in production and arranging, but they kind of force us to stick our hands in a bit of everything-"

"Ah." She cut him off with a sharp nod of her head, the smile that had been on his face turning tight lipped at her disruption. "Makes more sense." The last bit was said under her breath, more of a scoff with the way the brightness that had been on her face earlier fell. It was still loud enough for Hongjoong to catch it. Probably her intention.

He couldn't say he was surprised. He had always received mixed reactions when talking about his degree choice to other adults in the past. Some found it cool as hell, asking questions and wanting to see this or that, genuinely interested in what he had done, always excited to hear what was going on within his degree - like the friends he had made within the university. Others scoffed, rolled their eyes, made the occasional comment to work towards a real degree, asking when he would leave that phase of his life behind and look for a real job - like his parents.

Hongjoong flashed her another smile, lifting Seonghwa's hand still grasped in his own to kiss his knuckles, not missing the way her lips tugged into a frown, gaze hardening towards him. "I'm glad Seonghwa decided to give me a chance. Since I first laid eyes on him he was an inspiration to my music." It wasn't technically a lie. Seonghwa had inspired more than a song or two once Hongjoong had acknowledged his own feelings, but the same could have been said for any of his friends. Inspiration struck at odd times, and often time with odd subjects, and he would be lying if he said their group didn't find their way into influencing his projects.

But if overplaying how much Seonghwa had a part in that got a delicious reaction out of the woman scrutinizing every aspect of his life, well, he'd keep how much satisfaction he got from that to himself.

"I don't think my love for him could get any bigger. Everything he does and says makes more than my heart swell, if you get what I me-" 

A hand slapped over his mouth, cutting off the last few syllables of his sentence, a quick, strangled, and loud, "And that's enough of that!" squeaking out of Seonghwa.

And oh how she _glared_ at him, furious and enraged as her hands curled into fists and her shoulders tensed. He didn't miss the way Seonghwa' dad- quiet the entire time his wife continued to be rude towards Hongjoong- frowned not at him, but at Seonghwa, the disappointment clear. And maybe, just maybe, that caused a little pang of guilt to settle in Hongjoong's chest.

No matter how much she deserved it.

Gathering a quick bit of saliva in his mouth, Hongjoong _licked_ up the palm of Seonghwa's hand, grinning at the disgusted grunt and way Seonghwa wiped his hand on Hongjoong's shirt. "We'll go upstairs," Seonghwa started, and Hongjoong felt the glare being driven into the side of his head as Seonghwa pulled him up and away from the table. "We both have assignments that need to get done." 

Hongjoong trailed along behind Seonghwa without complaint, grin never faltering even as they trekked up the stairs and he took a seat on the bed, Seonghwa closing and leaning against the door, face in his hands. "I can't believe you told my mother a dick joke _to her face_ not an hour after meeting her. _Hongjoong._"

"She started it."

Seonghwa's hands lowered just enough for Hongjoong to see a glare. 

His smile fell, look turning serious in an instant as his hands clenched at the comforter. "I'm not going to sit by and let someone insult me and everything I've worked hard for, Seonghwa. Even if that someone is your mom."

"I know." A sigh, hands running through dark hair. "God, _I know_, Hongjoong. I'm not asking you to take their shit, just... have a little tact. We _do_ need to survive the weekend here, and they _are_ still my parents."

"You signed up for this by dragging me here to piss off your parents."

"That isn't-"

"Isn't it?"

Seonghwa rounded on him, irritation clear in the lines of his face and hardness in his eyes. "Don't be an ass."

"I'm not."

"Hongjoong-" Seonghwa pinched the bridge of his nose. "You asked for my boundaries earlier. Dick jokes cross the line."

Guilt rolled in his gut, mixing with the stubbornness that constantly took root there, head dropping and expression hard despite Hongjoong knowing Seonghwa was right, as much as he hated to admit it. He had gone a step too far, crossed more than one line, and while he knew the right thing would be to apologize, the words stuck to his tongue, teeth clenched and eyes unable to look at Seonghwa. Like a child being scolded.

"You can take the desk. I'll work from my bed."

It wasn't a dismissal, but the air between them hung heavy, neither saying much or looking at the other as they gathered their things and separated to different parts of the room. The desk had plenty of space for Hongjoong to set up his laptop, the chair more comfortable than anything he could have afforded. The only unfortunate thing was that his attitude carried over into his work, nothing sounding right, or working correctly in a way he liked. No matter what he tried to work on his attention wavered and the effort he put into it didn't mesh with the ideas in his head or what had already been put down.

After the fifth sigh and rubbing his face Seonghwa was at his side looking less frustrated than he did an hour ago, but no less annoyed. "Play it."

"What?"

"Play it. You're driving me insane with all your huffing and puffing. I can barely concentrate."

There was only a moment of hesitation before Hongjoong passed his headphones over to Seonghwa, waiting until the other had settled them over his ears and gave a nod before playing the piece. Seonghwa hummed as he listened to what Hongjoong had pieced together so far, one hand resting on the back of the chair as he leaned over his shoulder to get a better look at the laptop screen. On the third listen Seonghwa tapped the space bar, pointing at where the little cursor had stopped. "Here. This is where it's a little off. What if instead of-"

"Seonghwa? What are you doing?"

His attention shifted from the screen to his mother who had appeared in the doorway, straightening to better address her. "I'm helping Hongjoong-"

A scoff cut him off. "You're in school for business. How do you think you could help with _music_?" The way she said it, a sneer on her lips, nose scrunching at the mere idea of it, brought back the irritation from earlier. Hongjoong's eyes flickered from the door to Seonghwa, at the way his grip on the chair tightened and his jaw clenched. There was something hard in his gaze as Seonghwa looked at his mom, before his attention shifted down to the desk and _hurt_ replaced any defiance that had a chance to bloom.

"Right. How could I forget." 

Despite their earlier argument, despite the frustrations he had been feeling only minutes earlier, Hongjoong set a hand on top of the one Seonghwa had placed on the desk, giving Seonghwa's fingers a comforting squeeze. The only sign he got in return was a quick swipe of a thumb across his fingers.

"I swear, university has done nothing but make you disrespectful. You should be grateful your father and I got you into one of the best business programs in the country. You have a future ahead of yourself. Unlike..." She had the decency to cut herself off before she went any farther, teeth clicking with the force used to stop, the briefest of glances cast towards Hongjoong.

But that one word had done enough damage. 

There was a moment of tense silence between mother and son, before Seonghwa spoke up, voice oddly level for the amount of contained anger Hongjoong could see in the line of his shoulders and the way his fingers curled tight enough to turn his knuckles white. "Unlike what, mother?"

She stiffened, lifting her chin as if daring him to question her. "You know what I mean."

"No, I'm afraid I don't."

Hongjoong glanced between the two of them, not sure if making any sudden moves would be a smart idea. He barely dared to breathe, giving Seonghwa's hand another smaller squeeze. The silence seemed to drag out for too long, one of them waiting for the other to make a move or say something. 

Finally, Seonghwa's mother huffed. "Your father and I are going out for a bit. The neighbors know to keep an eye out for anything suspicious. We'll be back in a couple hours." She turned and stormed off, not waiting for any sort of response from either boy. 

Hongjoong knew he should be insulted, the words of some smart remark on the tip of his tongue waiting to be unleashed. They died when Seonghwa moved, pulling his hand out from under Hongjoong's and stalking towards his bed, sinking into it with the palms of his hands pressing against his eyes. Hongjoong tapped a few keys on his laptop, saving his current work before a stroke of bad luck decided to delete everything he had been working on. The sound of a door opening and closing, and a car pulling out of the garage was all the sign they needed to know the house was clear of any eavesdropping parents.

"Your mom is..."

"A total bitch?"

"I was going to say overbearing."

"Overbearing is an understatement."

Hongjoong hummed, scratching at the surface of the desk. "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I didn't realize your home life was so..." The pause was accented by a vague hand gesture, Hongjoong trying to find the appropriate word. "Chaotic."

"Mm. It's not normally this bad, but I also don't usually bring dates home. Specifically for this reason."

"Meeting the family on the first date? Damn, Seonghwa, you move fast."

The glare he was given lost its heat when paired with the slight curl of Seonghwa's lips. More a call out to what a little shit Hongjoong was being than anything else. At least it was a step in the right direction compared to their earlier annoyances. "You know what I mean."

And Hongjoong did. He could see now what Seonghwa meant about his parents. Or at least a little bit of it. His mom had shoved Hongjoong into a little box she can created for herself, painting him in whatever light she deemed fit and not hiding her distaste for whatever that entailed. He'd be lying if he said it didn't sting a little. It always did. Teeth worried his lower lip, deep breath trying to steady himself as his eyes flicked towards Seonghwa and then back at his laptop screen. "I can leave, if that would be easier. We don't have to keep this up if it'll cause problems."

"It would, but I'd rather you didn't." Seonghwa's shoulders sagged with a deep sigh, hands dropping to his lap. "I didn't think she'd take it as badly as she has. Neither of them have really... acknowledged the fact I'm not straight, and I thought-"

"This might be a good way for them to accept it?"

A moments hesitation before Seonghwa nodded, not looking at Hongjoong. "A way to get back at them, and make them come to terms with everything." Another sigh, his hands lifting to rub at his eyes again. "I shouldn't have dragged you into this. I'm sorry, Hongjoong. If you want to leave, I can pay for a taxi."

"Do you want me to leave?"

Seonghwa opened his mouth, paused, and managed to look _guilty_ as he focused on a spot on the ground, voice quiet. "No, not really." 

"Then I'm staying. I'm not leaving you to deal with your hell family on your own." 

It had taken more time than it should have to get Seonghwa to a point in their friendship where he could be honest about his wants and feelings. More often than not he was putting his own comfort to the side in favor of helping others. Some conversations and a change in wording from their group of friends had helped him open up more and more, and Hongjoong wasn't about to throw that honesty back in Seonghwa's face. Besides, the relief that crossed Seonghwa's face, and the way the some of the tension in his body melted away at Hongjoong's declaration said more than any verbal thanks Seonghwa could have given him.

In one fluid movement Hongjoong grabbed his laptop and stood, making his way over to the side of the bed. "Scoot back."

"Why?"

"Just do it." He waited while Seonghwa swung his legs onto the bed and scooted against the wooden headboard, questions dancing in his eyes as he glanced at Hongjoong. Once Seonghwa was settled Hongjoong climbed in, careful of his laptop as he sat between Seonghwa's legs, his back against the other's chest. His headphones were offered once more, and Seonghwa took them without complaint. He knew they were both comfortable when Seonghwa's arms wrapped around his middle and his face pressed into Hongjoong's shoulder.

"Here's a song Mingi and I have been working on." Hongjoong quickly opened a new file, pressing play and catching the start of the notes through the headphones covering Seonghwa's ears. He felt the 'hmm' in Seonghwa's throat more than he heard it, his arms tightening ever so slightly around his waist.

"Loop it?"

He complied without comment, relaxing against Seonghwa and listening to the faint notes of music. He didn't expect any conversation, and Seonghwa didn't offer any, both of them falling into the comfort of silence. It gave him time to work on other assignments, reports and papers that the professors threw on top of their already chaotic pile of homework. Or time to venture into the depths of social media and catch up on what chaos was unfolding back at campus without him and Seonghwa around.

Wooyoung and San had managed to drag Yeosang to a party, Mingi and Yunho diving into their usual Friday night raids to de-stress. Jongho posting selfies with his family. Nothing too far out of the ordinary.

Things were otherwise quiet save for the clicking of keys and the occasional tap on a trackpad, most of the noise coming from his occasional addition to the group chat or subtle snickers. Though, any work he did manage to chip away at slowed to a crawl when Seonghwa slid the fingers of one hand through Hongjoong's, linked hands settling on his stomach. Hongjoong's breath caught in his throat, chest barely moving until he felt Swonghwa's fingers tap the back of his hand. He released his pent up breath and changed the song, cycling through a short list of works in progress each time the pads of Seonghwa's fingers tapped him, and eventually delving into a playlist of miscellaneous music.

The more time went on the more Seonghwa relaxed against him until his arms loosened and his breathing evened out. A smile curled at Hongjoong's lips, turning the volume of the music down to a moderate level that wouldn't destroy Seonghwa's hearing or jerk him out of his nap with a sudden change in tone. He had that happen to him on more than one occasion, and knew better than to wish that rush of adrenaline on anyone.

And he may have- using his laptop camera- snuck a picture of Seonghwa asleep with his head resting on his shoulder to send to the group chat, trying to keep his snickers at the replies from their friends to a minimum.

[Choi-ce San: How to Train your Seonghwa

ʕ •̀ ω •́ ʔ: I can't believe his parents let you bring a cat inside

woo: sirs this is a mcdonalds drive thru

Choi-ce San: Woo

woo: what?

two dogs in a trench coat: Id say get a room but looks like u already have one

woo: perfect opportunity to search his room for blackmail material

woo: find the good stuff hongjoong

Hiddies: You know he'll read all this later

woo: not if we spam the chat enough

Hiddies: Spare me the notifications

woo: only because you asked nice

woo: and i still owe you

woo: and yeosang is in class

woo: and he’ll kill me

woo: or threaten to use my fabric scissors to cut paper again

Yeonytail: youre on thin fucking ice

woo: <3]

God, how he missed them. Yunho and Mingi's loud yelling as their game progressed, followed by a late night cuddle pile to recount their wins and losses and That One Player that couldn't do their job correctly. San and Yeosang's snapchat stories of their adventures out partying with Wooyoung, getting good natured texts from Yeosang complaining about being the designated driver, before all three of them fall off the face of the earth after getting back to the dorms. Jongho's aesthetically pleasing photos tagged with captions like 'this could be you but none of you know how to take goddamn notes' followed by someone- usually Seonghwa- crying over the youngest of their little group swearing while Wooyoung defended his non-existent note taking skills.

The silence in the room stretched too wide and pressed against him at the same time, a suffocating void that left him with nothing but his thoughts, leaving his laptop open just enough for the music program to still run while his eyes closed and he leaned back against Seonghwa's chest. Teeth settled against his lower lip, fingers curled on the warming metal of his laptop. 

Now was not the time to get emotional over missing his friends. He hadn't even been gone for twenty four hours. How was he supposed to look Mingi and Yunho in the eye knowing it had taken twenty four hours without them for him to break down? It was unacceptable.

He tried to focus on Seonghwa's arms around him instead, and the head resting on his shoulder. It was at least _something_, even if it wasn't the engulfing warmth he commonly associated with his roommates.

Somewhere in trying to calm his thoughts and forcing himself to relax, Hongjoong nodded off, the exhaustion of an early morning and the emotional turmoil of dealing with Seonghwa and his mother catching up with him. It was deserved and even welcomed, even if a part of him wanted to fight against a nap, determined to keep vigil for the return of Seonghwa's parents and the desperate need to be doing something until the wee hours of the night in order to feel productive.

Hongjoong must have needed the sleep more than he thought. By the time he woke, bleary eyed and taking a second to remember where he was, evening had replaced the sunlight that had been streaming in through the window. He rubbed at one eye, trying and failing to stile a yawn that almost had him stretching his arms over his head if it weren't for the weight still hanging off of him. Seonghwa- still fast asleep on his shoulder- barely moved other than tightening and then relaxing his arms around Hongjoong's middle. It took him a while to realize what had woken him up, casting a look around the room despite the fact that he was having a hard time registering anything in his sleep addled brain.

Voices, though. He could hear those, drifting up from the lower level, and it clicked what had woken him from his nap. 

The return of the parents.

He tried his best to move as little as possible as he sighed, pawing his laptop back onto his lap. Hongjoong could say with all honesty he didn't expect Seonghwa's mom to tromp her way up the stairs none to quietly, or to push open the door to the room with her mouth open, words on her tongue, only for her entire demeanor to instantly change the second her eyes fell onto him. Or maybe it'd be more accurate to say the position him and Seonghwa were in. Her eyes instantly narrowed into a sharp glare, body going rigid and her grip on the door handle tightening until Hongjoong could wear he could see her white knuckles from his spot on the bed.

All he could do was stare back, fingers hovering over the keyboard, not sure if he should speak up or leave her be.

She crossed the room before he could open his mouth, reaching out to settle her hand on Seonghwa's shoulder, voice tense but coated in a fake honey as she gently called out.

Seonghwa groaned at the sudden touch, arms tightening around Hongjoong and pressing his face harder into his shoulder. It was only at another shake of his shoulder that he lifted his head, blinking at Hongjoong and taking a short glance around his room before his eyes landed on his mom. Hongjoong could _feel_ the way Seonghwa immediately tensed, fingers digging into his sides and expression dropping from half sleep to cool disinterest. "Can I help you?"

"I just came to let you know we're home."

"I'm sure I would have realized that when I woke up and saw the lights on downstairs."

Her jaw clenched, eyes narrowing.

"Thank you, Mrs. Park," Hongjoong cut in before things could get any worse, trying to give her a smile and mend at least a little of the bridge between them. It didn't stop her from giving him a glare just as fierce as the earlier one, huffing, and stalking out of the room as if he had personally offended her. 

"She's never going to warm up to me, is she?"

"You _did_ make a dick joke to her face." Seonghwa stretched, loosening his hold once more before pulling Hongjoong tight against him. Hongjoong couldn't stop the little squeak that left him at the sudden shift, cheeks warming in embarrassment even if Seonghwa didn't give any notice that he had heard. "Don't take it personally. You're the sort of person she dislikes."

"How am I supposed to not take that personally?"

"Because it's your good points she doesn't like."

"You said that before. Like what?"

"Mm... You're a musician."

"You're going to have to be more specific."

Seonghwa hummed into his ear, taking a moment longer than Hongjoong was used to when collecting his thoughts, and when Seonghwa did speak his voice was low with tiredness that still clung to him. "You live, breathe, and eat music, Hongjoong. You were born with lyrics dancing off your tongue, and measures running through your veins." The longer Seonghwa went on, the more Hongjoong wasn't able to look at him, sure his ears were burning red in embarrassment. "Your heart beats to a rhythm that makes music out of everything you touch. You're an artist any way you look at it."

"Are you sure you're not secretly a lit major or something?"

"You wanted me to be specific."

"Yeah, but not-"

"Not what?" 

Hongjoong could _hear_ the smile that crossed Seonghwa's lips, and he couldn't help the little strangled noise that left him, lifting and dropping his hands in defeat.

"Are you going to look at me?"

"No."

There was only another brief hum before Seonghwa's arms tightened almost painfully around him, keeping him from being able to slink away like he so badly wanted to do. "So, I shouldn't mention you make an aurora out of words and instruments, blending the unlikely together into a beautiful picture?"

"That didn't mean _keep going_!"

"Your ambition and creativity inspire everyone around you-" Hongjoong's elbow buried itself into Seonghwa's side, cutting him off with a huff that brought a curl of a smile to Seonghwa's lips. If Hongjoong's ears were red before, he was pretty sure his entire face was lighting up by this point, curled around himself as much as Seonghwa would allow and (lightly) pressing his face into his keyboard.

They stayed like that, curled around each other, until Seonghwa gave a shaky exhale, nosing along Hongjoong's neck until he found a spot more comfortable than his shoulder. Despite the shiver than ran down his spine, Hongjoong slowly uncurled himself, casting a quick glance over his shoulder the same time one hand dropped to Seonghwa's knee and gave a light squeeze. It wasn't often Seonghwa dropped the masks and barriers that kept others at bay, letting the less than happy side of him poke through. "You okay?"

There was a moment of silence, and Hongjoong was prepared to let the topic drop when Seonghwa spoke up, voice quiet and strained. "Thank you." Another shaky breath, broken only by the bob of Seonghwa's throat as he swallowed hard. "For being here. I know it's not ideal, and chances are things are going to get worse before they get better, but- Thank you. Really." Hongjoong didn't think it would be possible for Seonghwa to curl against his back more, to make himself smaller than he already was, but somehow he succeeded, voice managing to get quieter. "I wish I could stay at the dorms. It'd be much better than having to come back here every weekend."

"Why do you come back?"

"I have to. My parents are paying for every cent of my education, and if I don't follow their rules they'll pull out and show me the door."

It was reflex to try to turn around despite the displeased sound Seonghwa made, brows drawing together and a disbelieving frown dropping his lips. "Wait, are you serious? They actually said that?"

He felt the nod more than saw it. 

"Seonghwa..." 

Gentle but firm fingers pried Seonghwa's arms from around his waist, gaining him a tired glare and a whine that could have put Yunho to shame. Hongjoong didn't move far, though. He shifted out from between Seonghwa's legs, settling next to him. Laptop was abandoned somewhere safe, homework and group chats long forgotten as he guided Seonghwa down, head resting in his lap and Hongjoong's fingers sliding through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" There might have been a strain in those two little words, one Hongjoong had heard in his own voice many times before. The way one of Seonghwa's hands settled over his leg, fingers curling into the fabric of his pants only affirmed Hongjoong's suspicions. Not that he minded any tears on his legs. Not right now, anyway.

"Your asshole mom. And the fact that you'd willingly want to deal with Wooyoung, Yeosang, and San on the weekends when any logic and restraint flies out the window."

Seonghwa's huff of a laugh brought a small curl of a smile to his face. "It's not that bad."

"You say that now."

"I'll keep saying it."

It didn't take much for Seonghwa to drift off again, falling back into the tiredness Hongjoong could see suffocating him. He waited, though, until his breathing evened out and the grip on his pants lessened before sending a quick text to the chat with Yunho and Mingi, apologizing for not being able to call that night, and shooting a quick question he didn't expect an answer to any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys enjoyed this chapter and this fic so far, feel free to keep an eye out on my twitter and cc (@woojinmp3) for any updates and previews!
> 
> Next chapter we introduce some new characters and get a look at Seonghwa's childhood!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up breaking the original plans for this chapter in two, so enjoy this first half!!! This chapter actually has my favorite group chat. I hope you guys find it as entertaining as it was to write.

"I just don't understand why you have to spend the day in the city."

"Mother, I explained it-"

"This is supposed to be a special weekend. Why can't you stay home and spend time with your father and me?"

Hongjoong could hear the conversation from the bathroom, not that either Seonghwa nor his mom were trying to be quiet, deep into his morning routine in the bathroom. He tried not to pay too much attention to it, trying to focus on getting ready for a day Seonghwa would give him no hints about other than it involved spending time outside the house. Curiosity was a dangerous thing, though, and he couldn't help pausing every so often to listen in. 

"It's not the end of the world if I want to show my boyfriend the city I grew up in. We have all of tomorrow to spend time together."

Maybe his heart did a flip at hearing Seonghwa using the word 'boyfriend', toothpaste nearly flying off of the brush and Hongjoong seeing redness spread across the tips of his ears in the mirror. 'Stop reading into it, Hongjoong,' he chided himself, taking a second to scrub one hand across his face. It would do him no good to get his hopes up when he knew what he was getting into. It was nothing but helping out a friend. Pretending to get Seonghwa's parents off his back about his relationship status with a handful of spite thrown in.

Though, Hongjoong was beginning to wonder how that was to work when neither of Seonghwa's parents wanted anything to do with him. Where his mom was more vocal about her displeasure, Seonghwa's dad did nothing to deter her from making her comments, simply fixing Seonghwa with a disappointed dad look that had Hongjoong's blood boiling.

He gave himself one final look over in the mirror when he was done, double checking the make up he had taken his time applying, eyes sharp and the barest hint of color on the corners of his lids. It was more to irritate Seonghwa's mom than anything else, subtle but there if one looked closed enough, the colors and styles having been specifically chosen to match his outfit for the day. He made one detour back towards the room, following Seonghwa's direction to bring his laptop with him. Why, he didn't know, Seonghwa refused to tell him. Whatever it was, it couldn't be worse than staying at the house.

Hongjoong trooped down the stairs, pausing at the edge of the living room. Seonghwa flashed him a smile, hints of strain along the edges. Meanwhile his mom fixed Hongjoong with another scathing look, one he was becoming good at ignoring, much to her irritation.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Still not going to tell me what the plan is?"

"You'll see when we get there."

"Ominous. I'm telling Yunho and Mingi if I don't message them by five to assume I'm dead."

"You're not going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Nope." Hongjoong emphasized the word with a hard pop of the 'p', adjusting the way his bag sat on his shoulder. "Let's get going, Romeo. The suspense is killing me."

Seonghwa gave an amused hum, smile curling, doing a good job of digging his heels into the floor to keep Hongjoong from shoving him out the door. "Someone's impatient. You know what they say, Hongjoong. Curiosity killed the cat."

"This cat's gonna kill you if we don't start _moving_."

"No wonder Yunho and Mingi call you their angry cat."

"They what-"

"Nothing." Of course it was then Seonghwa chose to walk on his own, sending Hongjoong tumbling into his back as he fought to keep his balance. "Let's go. We have a busy day ahead of us."

Part of Hongjoong wanted to be stubborn, to refuse to move as Seonghwa had until his questions were answered. Show Seonghwa who the most stubborn of them could be, even if it wasn't any sort of challenge. He still felt that bubble of defiance rise before he stifled it with a roll of his eyes, instead fishing his phone out of his pocket during the short trek to the front door.

[ Hiddies: I'm an angry cat huh?

Big Middie Committee: suddenly i cant read

two dogs in a trench coat: we're jared, 19 ]

The snort he gave got an eyebrow raise from Seonghwa, questions that Hongjoong brushed aside with a wave of his hand. "Nothing. Yunho and Mingi being Yunho and Mingi." He didn't need to elaborate any more. Seonghwa had been around their antics enough to know what Hongjoong meant, giving a smile and good natured roll of his eyes.

The walk into the city was nice, a much needed breath of fresh air and moment of peace. Not that Hongjoong would voice that out loud. While Seonghwa's mom was adamant about him apparently being the spawn of satan, he knew better than to trash talk someone's parents to their face, especially unprompted. Hongjoong had his opinions, but like while dealing with other adults throughout his life he kept them from forming on his tongue, safely locked away where he wouldn't cause unnecessary problems. At least not yet.

Clouds drifted overhead, lazy and content, offering moments of relief from the harsh blare of the sun. Coupled with a breeze that played with the leaves of trees they passed, it made the sweater he chose to wore more worthwhile. The cuffs of the sleeves brushed against his palms and the backs of his hands with each wild gesture he made while speaking. Seonghwa nudged him or gently tugged on his sleeve to direct him this way or that while they talked.

Hongjoong was hit again with how nice it was. For it just to be the two of them with no outside worries or responsibilities. Just a nice day, a nice conversation-

And apparently a nice restaurant judging by the building Seonghwa paused in front of, glancing at Hongjoong before tilting his head towards the door. "I don't know about you, but I could use a good breakfast."

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, sure. Breakfast sounds great, but uh..." Hongjoong tilted his head back, taking in the fancy writing and minimalist look that decorated the outside of the building. "This place looks expensive. Are you sure?"

"It's fine. It's the only place that serves a decent brunch."

Inside was just as fancy, music playing low on speakers overhead, artistic tables and chairs placed strategically around the floor. There weren't that many other patrons inside the building, a couple of older folks along the walls, chatting away while they ate. They were seated at a small table just big enough for the two of them, drinks brought out relatively quickly while they looked over the menu.

"I feel totally under dressed."

"You're fine."

"You don't get to say that. You're actually dressed nice."

"So are you."

"I literally picked this outfit out to try to annoy your mom."

"Anything paired with leather pants would annoy my mom. Mission accomplished."

Hongjoong huffed, sure that had it been him trying to get seated at such a ritzy place alone he would have gotten an assortment of looks. He had gotten a few from the host upon walking in, but Seoghwa had stepped in, charming and charismatic, drawing the attention to himself before Hongjoong could get defensive. Seonghwa in his turtleneck and blazer, a thin silver necklace around his neck, looked way more at home and comfortable in the sort of space they were in. 

He fished his phone out of his pocket with a hum, focusing on the series of messages in the group chat over the smile Seonghwa directed at him.

[Yeonytail: So i walked in on something

Yeonytail: Interesting

Big Middie Committee: ???

woo: tell them

woo: tell them what you said

Hiddies: ???

Big Middie Committee: do i want to know

Yeonytail: Woos pissed and Sans laughing too hard to do anything

woo: TELL THEM WHAT YOU SAID

Choi-ce San: i

woo: we were watching monsters inc right

Big Middle Committee: as you do

woo: as you do

woo: and this motherfucker

Yeonytail: I can hear San wheezing from the bathroom

woo: THIS MOTHERFUCKER

woo: LOOKS ME DEAD IN THE EYE

woo: AND SAYS

woo: THATS THE RAW SEXUAL CHARISMA OF MIKE WAZOWSKI

Big Middie Committee: ...

two dogs in a trench coat: what the fuck did i come back to

Hiddies: I had to

woo: WHAT THE FUCK SAN

Hiddies: Repeat that

Hiddies: While sitting in the middle of a fancy restaurant

Hiddies: And everyone is giving me looks while Seonghwa loses his absolute shit

Hiddies: A waiter asked if we're alright

woo: wait why are you at a fancy restaurant

woo: is seonghwa paying

woo: _bring back leftovers hongjoong_]

"They're going to throw us out," Hongjoong hissed, curled over the edge of the table, one hand next to the side of his face as if it would save him from the stares of the neighboring tables, phone face down next to him. "Seonghwa, you're going to get us kicked out, and I haven't had the fancy chocolate croissant yet."

Across from him, Seonghwa's entire body shook with the force of his laughter, forehead pressed into the table, breaths coming and going in quiet wheezes. 

"I can't believe this. I can't believe _that_ is what makes you lose your shit like this. It's not even that funny!" And the _look_ Seonghwa gave him- eyes dancing with a mischief that only surfaced when conniving with Wooyoung and San, a smile curling at the corners of his mouth- was enough for a spike of fear to jolt through Hongjoong. "_Don't-_"

"That's the raw sexual charisma of Mike Wazowski."

"... I want a divorce."

"We're not even dating."

"I get custody of Yeosang."

"Wh- Absolutely not!"

"You can have San and Wooyoung."

"Hongjoong-!"

"And I guess I'll let you have Yunho."

At least Seonghwa had stopped _laughing_, instead giving him a pout with pursed lips and a glare he knew had no actual malice behind it. Hongjoong gave him a simple smile in return, lifting his drink to his lips. Let him taste what it was like to be on the receiving end of the teasing for once. Especially after what Seonghwa had unloaded onto him last night. That'll show him to wax poetics in the evening.

Their food came with Seonghwa still pouting at him. It was plated extravagantly, and for a second all Hongjoong could do was stare at it. He knew, of course, from Wooyoung's own trips into culinary videos that some people took presentation of their works seriously, like any other artist. And like any other work of art, Hongjoong couldn't help but take a moment to admire it before snapping a quick picture- much to Seonghwa's confusion- and sending it to Wooyoung with a simple caption of 'get yourself a man that treats you to fancy brunch'

[ woo: there's a word for that

woo: it's called a sugar daddy ]

Hongjoong _choked_, waving off Seonghwa's concern as his coughs turned into laughter, quickly flashing Wooyoung's commentary at him with a grin.

[ woo: god wish that were me

woo: we gotta help san get famous so at least ONE of my boyfriends is bringing in money 

Hiddies: i cant believe you'd discredit yeosang like that

Hiddies: And forgave San so quickly

woo: hes on thin fucking ice and he knows it

woo: but you know

woo: out of the two Yeosang would be the one to like secretly become famous and no one would know until he rolled up in a fucking ferrari or something

woo: whered you get the money yeosang?

woo: oh you know patented my own drone line and made a shitton of money but you guys have to try this chicken place that opened up down the road ]

Hongjoong shifted his chair closer to Seonghwa, holding his phone so both of them could watch Wooyoung's rant as it flashed across the screen. Sometimes it was easier to let Wooyoung ramble without interruption, getting whatever thoughts came to mind out of his system. None of them really cared when it happened, and all of them were guilty of falling into a pit of word dumping on more than one occasion. He didn't realize how close they were until Seonghwa's arm brushed against his own, Seonghwa leaning in closer to get a better look at the string of messages. Hongjoong froze, breath caught in his throat, unable to type a response back to Wooyoung even if he wanted to.

"Yeosang _would_ be the type to put more of a focus on chicken than his own finances, though I think thanks to Wooyoung Yeosang would get more famous as a model than any tech related endeavor. And I think that would piss Yeosang off more than anything else." 

"What, why?"

"Because then he'd feel obligated to share his chicken, and you know how Yeosang gets with his favorite foods." Seonghwa nodded towards the phone, tapping the side of the case. "I think he's done."

Attention snapped back to the chat, the series of dots signifying Wooyoung was typing gone and a moment of peace settling over the app. "Right." Hongjoong cleared his throat, shifting his chair back to where it originally started at the other side of the table.

Despite his attempts otherwise, an air of awkwardness settled over the table as they ate, Hongjong focusing on his food more than the person with him. It was enough for Seonghwa to throw a questioning and mildly concerned look his way. "You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, it's just..." He couldn't admit it. Not now. It would make things even more awkward if he told Seonghwa that the weekend so far had done nothing but to bring intense feelings back to the surface. That was the last thing they needed with the rest of the day stretched out before them, and the dinner right around the corner. "This place is a little too fancy. I feel out of place. I don't know how you can stand it."

"Ah, right." Seonghwa flashed him an apologetic smile. "My family used to come here when I was younger. It's sort of my go to when I'm out in the city."

"It's a nice place, don't get me wrong. It's just not a style I'm used to."

"How about we find something a little more your speed, then?" Their waiter was flagged down, Seonghwa not giving Hongjoong any chance to see the bill before they were gathering Hongjoong's bag and back out on the sidewalks. Stalls and shops were pointed out, Seonghwa mentioning a story here, a story there, recalling happier moments of his childhood with a wistful smile on his face. Hongjoong could spend the entire day lost in his voice, hearing Seonghwa tell story after story, rumbling laughs accenting words here or there as he pointed out place after place.

Hongjoong froze in front of one, attention focused solely on the shop window, mouth agape as fingers pinched at the back of Seonghwa's shirt to keep him from wandering too far ahead while Hongjoong stared in awe. The mannequin was set at just the right height, his reflection slotting perfectly along the curves of the fabric. He couldn't take his eyes off of the jacket, mind already whirling through the possibilities of what he could add, the ways he could style it just right into his own personal look. Black in color with just the right minimal amount of pattern- no, that wasn't a pattern. It was sheer material catching in the light. And was that a thin belt slung across it?

"Whoa."

He barely heard any response Seonghwa gave, his voice a dull ring in his ears. It wasn't until Seonghwa was at his side, bumping him with an elbow, that Hongjoong drew out of his thoughts, blinking at his reflection, and then at Seonghwa. "What?"

"Do you want it?"

He couldn't help the snort that left him. "As if I could afford anything in that store."

"That's not what I asked." Both of Seonghwa's arms wrapped around one of Hongjoong's own, the one with Seonghwa's shirt still pinched between his fingers. Hongjoong barely had time to register what was happening before he was being pulled towards the door. Digging his heels into the sidewalk did little to slow their pace any.

"Hwa, wait-! What are you-" He could only manage a strangled noise of disapproval before he was being dragged into the store. 

Everything within the walls screamed fashionable, styles and name brands Hongjoong couldn't begin to know how to pronounce, everything with its own color and charm that it made a ball of self-consciousness roll around the pit of his stomach. Him in his yellow and black striped sweater and leather pants- brought specifically due to what Seonghwa had told him about his parents and reasoning for asking for his help in the first place- and multiple piercings decorating his ears. Every article of clothing hanging on the racks spoke to people that didn't have to deal with the wear and tear that came with everyday struggles and a retail work environment.

Still, he couldn't help the way his gaze wandered the store, drifting across things he would have to mention to Wooyoung later. Much to Yeosang's displeasure, he was sure. Seonghwa released him to go speak to an employee at the counter, leaving Hongjoong to wander the racks until his eyes settled on a particularly nice display of berets.

"Find something you like?" 

The beret fell from his hands in his surprise, Hongjoong giving a startled yelp before whipping around, smacking Seonghwa's arm. "Don't do that!"

Seonghwa picked up the hat, examining it for a short moment before settling it on top of Hongjoong's head. Hongjoong froze as Seonghwa adjusted it a little this way , a little that way, brushing pieces of Hongjoong's hair out of the way. He was sure his breath had caught in his throat, chest not moving the entire time Seonghwa stood in his space. It was only after he stepped back to examine his work, giving Hongjoong a small nod of approval before turning towards the cashier, did Hongjoong allow himself to release the air in his lungs.

His heart was beating too fast, lungs locking up when he tried to take more than a shallow breath. His skin felt on fire where Seonghwa's fingers brushed against his forehead, lingering beyond when it should have already dissipated into memory. The feelings were too familiar, too much like lightning setting him ablaze, suddenly striking and leaving him uncoordinated every time Seonghwa turned his attention onto him, and then dying slow to a smolder that burned the second that attention turned anywhere else. It _hurt_ in the worst and best ways possible, bringing bitter memories along with it. Memories and feelings he had spent months trying to push down, telling himself he was content, he didn't need anything more.

Both before the confession.

And after.

And now, when he had gotten so good at _waiting_, telling himself if he gave Seonghwa time, if he ignored his heart screaming at him, pretended that everything was as close to normal as it could be, things would work out. After a time, he had deluded himself into a sense of calm, Seonghwa's presence not having the same effect it did before, able to joke and play around without every look or laugh bringing a blush to his cheeks.

Now all of that was out the window in a matter of days.

He forced himself to take a breath, the beret on his head stopping him from running a hand through his hair. Instead, he focused on playing with the cuffs of his sweater, trailing after Seonghwa to the counter. 

"Would you like a bag today?"

"No, we'll wear it out along with the beret."

Hongjoong blinked, looking from Seonghwa to the folded jacket sitting on the counter to the large window display where the mannequin now sat naked. There was a string of things he could have said, none of them particularly decent enough to speak into existence with the cashier right there, so instead Hongjoong gave a strangled sort of noise, unable to do anything but take the jacket Seonghwa handed to him. The material was soft on his hands, the details more intricate now that he could see it up close and in better light. Seonghwa placed a gentle hand on the small of his back, guiding him out of the shop while his attention remained on the jacket.

"I can't believe you did that."

"I wanted to."

"Seonghwa, this isn't cheap--"

"_Hongjoong_. I wanted to. As a token of apprecation for putting up with my family. Besides, it suits you." Words coupled with a smile, it was hard for Hongjoong to argue any further. It slid over his sweater with no issue, material light enough to not be suffocating and fitting just right. Hongjoong paused, pulling out his phone to try to get a decent look at himself while wearing it. "Here." Seonghwa snatched the device from him before he could complain, taking a couple steps back. "Smile." Hongjoong barely had time to lift a hand to his face, flashing his usual smile along with a v.

"You could have taken a photo with your own phone."

"Mm. I left it at home."

"You're kidding me."

"I didn't want my mother interrupting or tracking our every movement."

"Wait, what? Tracking?"

"She _insists_ I have this app on my phone so she knows my whereabouts to make sure I'm okay. God forbid I go anywhere she doesn't approve of."

"_Dude_."

"I'd rather focus on making the rest of the day enjoyable." Seonghwa flashed him a smile, half tired, half pained, and Hongjoong couldn't do anything but wince. "Also, I hope you don't mind, but I sent the picture to Wooyoung. Out of everyone, I feel like he'd appreciate it the most."

"Oh god, I'm never going to hear the end of this." He could _feel_ his phone buzzing away in his pocket, message after message coming in what he could only assume was Wooyoung losing his damn shit at Hongjoong's over all look. "Ignoring that train wreck for now..." He lifted his bag back to his shoulder, starting down the street again. "Let's enjoy the rest of the day. What else did you have planned? A pleasant stroll through the park? Dinner at a steakhouse?"

There was an amused him behind him as Seonghwa moved to keep pace with him. "Well, I wasn't planning on a steakhouse dinner, but if you _insist_-"

"No, that's fine. No steakhouse dinners, thanks. I barely made it through brunch."

"I was hoping we could visit a friend of mine."

"No way. You? Friends?"

There was a sharp hit to his shoulder, but it didn't diminish the grin on Hongjoong's face any. "Yes, thank you, a friend. I haven't seen him in a while and it keeps us out of the house longer."

While he listened to Seonghwa speak of his friend, Hongjoong's eyes scanned the shops that were around. Windows that lined the street, displaying goods and items for sale, showing off with grand displays. He paused outside one, the bright colors across the street catching his interest immediately. Canvases decorated what he could see, curious people sliding in and out. "Seonghwa, is that-?"

"Hm? Oh. I didn't realize he had an exhibition this weekend. Normally my grandma tells me when they're scheduled."

"Can we?" He turned to face Seonghwa, not at all ashamed to use the puppy dog eyes he had picked up from Yunho. "Please?" 

"I'm not going to say no. Feeldog's a local artist, and I try to make a point to stop in and take a look at what exhibitions I can. My parents _hate _ that I spend my time there, and it's impossible not to leave in a good mood. Reminds me of your art, actually."

If Hongjoong heard the last bit of what Seonghwa said, he didn't show it, already moving to cross the street. The art was eye catching, bright colors and just busy enough for there to always be something new to find. The second he walked through the door, Seonghwa trailing behind him, Hongjoong slowed his pace, taking his time to check out every piece he could. Seonghwa wasn't wrong. The colors and small details were enough to make the works cohesive while adding a flair that was hard to pin down.

"Whoa."

"Nice, right? Be positive, no negative. You can find that on some of his works. It's why I like coming here when I can. It's easy to get lost in his works, and your mood can't help but improve."

Hongjoong didn't know how long they stayed looking at the art, sometimes going back to paintings they had seen earlier, lost in the lines and movement until finally there was nothing more to see. They left with smiles on their faces, Hongjoong easily chattering away about what they had seen, what he had noticed. He couldn't stop, compliment after compliment, observation after observation, hands moving dramatically along with his words. The only time he stopped was when he glanced at Seonghwa, taking in the fond smile as he listened to Hongjoong ramble, offering little hums and words to let him know he was listening. Hongjoong trailed off, slowing his pace as he stared at Seonghwa. "What?"

"Nothing."

"That's not nothing. What is it?"

"Has anyone ever told you how animated you get when you talk about a topic you enjoy? It's endearing."

And, oh, he could _feel_ the blush creeping across his cheeks, promptly turning away from Seonghwa and quickly moving a few paces ahead, trying to ignore the amused laugh behind him. "Weren't you talking about a friend before?"

"Oh, yeah. I think you and him will get along well."

"Does this mysterious friend have a name?"

"Youngjo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we start getting into some deeper things, so bear with me while I work those out!
> 
> My cc and twitter can be found over at @woojinmp3 !!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too happy with how some of this turned out, especially at the end, but I hope you guys enjoy! For those of you who like theorizing, there's actually a lot of important info in this chapter. Keep an eye out.
> 
> I also added and edited some tags, so please be mindful of those.

[ woo: i cant believe the one day yunho skipped is the day euijin needs to talk to him

two dogs in a trench coat: tell him i dropped out

woo: YOU CANT IGNORE YOUR INSTRUCTOR

two dogs in a trench coat: WATCH ME

woo: ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS

Hiddies: Wait why did Yunho skip?

two dogs in a trench coat: WHAT IF HE TELLS ME IM NOT CUT OUT FOR DANCE

two dogs in a trench coat: WHAT IF HE TELLS ME I SHOULD CHANGE MY MAJOR

two dogs in a trench coat: IM NOT BUILT FOR REJECTION WOOYOUNG

Big Middie Committee: its true

Big Middie Committee: you should see him when i say i dont want to watch spiderman with him

woo: thats bc ur whipped and he knows it

two dogs in a trench coat: i cant believe im being exposed like this

woo: anyway

woo: talk to euijin yun

Hiddies: WHY DID YUNHO SKIP DANCE PRACTICE ???? HE NEVER SKIPS???

two dogs in a trench coat: cant a guy take a mental health day without it being the end of the world?

Hiddies: Do you miss me that much?

two dogs in a trench coat: YES

two dogs in a trench coat: WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK

woo: its because he knows ej wants to talk to him and hes avoiding it

two dogs in a trench coat: i need my Emotional Support Hongjoong

Big Middie Committee: what about your emotional support mingi

Yeonytail: emotional support mingi is beer and bad movies

Big Middie Committee: i didnt see you complaining after we went to the petting zoo

Yeonytail: if i recall i wasnt the only one crying 

Big Middie Committee: nah you and hwa just sobbed like babies until we put on bambi

Big Middie Comittee: and then you both sobbed more 

Yeonytail: I didn't come here to be called out

Big Middie Committee: but its happening ]

"If your friend is anything like the mess we left back at campus, I think I'd rather deal with your mom." Hongjoong sighed as he exited out of the chat, pinching the bridge of his nose. At least he hadn't gotten a frantic call or message about anyone getting hurt, or having a breakdown, or anything like that. It seemed like everyone was doing well, or able to handle their own issues. Everyone had their own pillars of support, people or hobbies they turned to when things got difficult, but Hongjoong couldn't help but worry being so far from everyone else.

Seonghwa smiled, giving Hongjoong's shoulder a reassuring squeeze as if he could see where his train of thoughts were taking him. "He's not that bad."

"What's he like? This mysterious friend of yours?"

"Mm. A little chaotic sometimes, but he has a good heart. He reminds me of you, actually."

"Does Park Seonghwa have a _type_?"

The hand on his shoulder turned into a slap. "I can't take you anywhere."

"No, wait, let me guess." Hongjoong trotted a couple steps ahead, turning to look Seonghwa up and down with a hand on his chin as he spent a few steps walking backwards. "Cool guy with a heart of gold, just enough snark to be funny, someone who could sweep you off your feet, embarrasses you in just the right ways." Judging from the way Seonghwa's face turned red, eyes wide, Hongjoong figured he had hit the nail on the head. He grinned despite the way his heart lurched in his chest, laughing at Seonghwa's frustrated huff and pout, not minding that he had to pick up his pace to catch up to Seonghwa as he breezed by him in an attempt to escape Hongjoong's teasing.

The house they walked up to was like any other in the neighborhood, nothing standing out or making it particularly memorable. It was a little shock compared to the grand building that was Seonghwa's parents place. "Really? Here?"

"Last I was aware, yes. He doesn't live with his parents. This is his own place."

"Ah. That explains it. Wish that were me."

"You _have_ your own place."

"A two bedroom apartment I share with Yunho and Mingi. Don't know if I'd call that having my own space. Half the time they don't even sleep in their own beds."

"And yet, you've never complained before."

"I'm not complaining."

Seonghwa fixed him with a disbelieving look as they approached the door, ringing the bell without giving Hongjoong any sort of response. Not that he was expecting one. As much as he did complain- having three people in a two bedroom apartment got cramped real easy- it was all in good fun, pokes and prods at each other for laughs, and Seonghwa knew that, had been witness to their teasing and joking around when the group found themselves all shoved together in the living room for a movie or game night. The only thing he would change if given the chance would be a larger space, one easier for everyone to move around in. And maybe one more additional body to help cut down on some expenses. 

They didn't have to wait long for the door to be flung open, meeting excited eyes that turned confused at the two on the doorstep. "You're not the delivery guy." The man that answered the door was short- even shorter than Hongjoong- blinking up at the two of them as a frown crossed his face. The other with him- trailing a couple steps behind and looking both Seonghwa and Hongjoong up and down with a skeptical look- leaned against the wall by the door, one brow raised and a question in his eyes.

Seonghwa didn't seem phased, simply giving the two a smile. "Is Youngjo home?" 

The one leaning on the wall called over his shoulder. "Youngjo! There's some cute guys at the door to see you!"

The shorter of the two pouted, mumbling something about estimated delivery times as he slunk away from the door. The other opened the door a bit farther and stepped to the side, welcoming them into the little home.

The next man to come down the hall and into view paused the second he saw Seonghwa, blinking in surprise and confusion through the dark hair that hung in his eyes. "Seonghwa? What are you doing here?" Disbelief didn't stop him from going in for a hug, holding Seonghwa at arms length after and giving him a look up and down. The happy moment only lasted a second before the new man landed a solid punch to Seonghwa's arm. "That's for not answering my messages, asshole."

Seonghwa cast him an apologetic smile, rubbing the spot that was sure to bruise. "Would you believe me if I said I'm here to say hi?"

"No. It's never just a hi with you. What'd the witch do now?"

The deep inhale said more than any words ever could. "It's a long story. I'm actually here for my friend." It was the first time Seonghwa's friend seemed to notice him. "Youngjo, this is Hongjoong. Hongjoong, Youngjo. Hongjoong is a friend from university."

"Sup, Hongjoong? You call me Youngjo or Ravn. This is Seoho." Youngjo nodded in the direction of his housemate, who lifted a hand and smiled in greeting before meandering after the one that had left earlier. It was the nicest reception he had received since reaching Seonghwa's home, Youngjo immediately extending a hand in greeting coupled with a genuine smile. "What brings you guys to my humble abode?"

"Wish I knew."

"Looks like you came here with something in mind." Eyes traveled from the backpack slung over one of Hongjoong's shoulders to Seonghwa.

"I was hoping we could borrow your recording equipment."

"_Ouch_. All you want me for is my equipment."

"Wait," Hongjoong interrupted, "you have recording equipment? Here?"

"Yeah. Music's a hobby of mine, and my parents are more supportive of it than Seonghwa's." They were led farther into the house to the living room. "Actually, everyone here has an interest in music in some way. We make our own music and choreograph our own songs. I was actually in the middle of working on one when you guys showed up."

If it were possible to have stars in his eyes Hongjoong was sure he'd be looking at Youngjo with an entire galaxy. "Do you have samples? I'd love to hear. Outside of my classes I'm friends with one other producer, and he always procrastinates on his assignments until the last second so I never get to hear as he's working on them."

"Yeah, sure. I can give you my soundcloud, too. Most of our stuff ends up there."

"Sure." He passed his phone to Youngjo, stepping closer and craning his head to watch the other man's fingers tap along the screen.

"Huh. Looks like you already follow me."

"What?" Hongjoong took his phone back, looking at the username Youngjo had pulled up. "... No way. Pls9ravn is you?! Seonghwa!" He grabbed Seonghwa's arm in both hands, roughly shaking him back and forth as he glanced from Seonghwa to Youngjo. The galaxy had turned into an entire universe. "Seonghwa! Pls9ravn!"

"Yes, I know. Please stop shaking me."

"And you didn't tell me?! Or Mingi?! What kind of friend are you?! You’ve heard us-!” Hongjoong’s teeth snapped shut, an almost embarrassed flush marking his cheeks.

"Yeah, Seonghwa. What kind of friend are you?" Coupled with a cheshire cat-like grin and unmistakable amusement, Hongjoong knew he had been caught as a fan.

"Don't encourage him."

"Anyway, why do you guys need my equipment?"

"We're stuck here for the weekend, and you know how my parents are. I agreed to help Hongjoong with a song, and we need a decent space to do that."

That clearly caught Youngjo by surprise. He leaned back, blinking at Seonghwa like he had spontaneously grown a second head. "You _agreed?_ What twilight zone bullshit is this? I've been trying to get you to agree to help with a song for literal years! The one time you agreed, I had to buy you dinner for a week!"

"Good to know that's a standard Seonghwa move," Hongjoong chimed in, setting his bag down and taking a seat on the couch.

"He get you, too?"

"Drinks in exchange for some vocals."

"Stop being dramatic," Seonghwa huffed, pouting at the both of them from his spot. "It worked out for both of you."

Youngjo chuckled, the sound accompanying a grin that cracked across Hongjoong's face. They all settled in the living room, taking up space on the couch. Despite Seonghwa being the mutual friend they had in common, he settled on one side of Hongjoong while Youngjo took the other, chiding the other members of the house as they screeched their victory at food finally being delivered. 

"Sorry. Seoho and Hwanwoong can be a little chaotic sometimes." Youngjo flashed them a smile. "If we knew you guys were coming we would have ordered more."

"It's fine. We ate before coming here."

He nodded, attention switching from Seonghwa to Hongjoong. "So, Hongjoong. I know what torture Seonghwa's being forced to endure, but how about you? What are you doing in university?"

For a second Hongjoong was unprepared for the genuine curiosity, taking a second to blink at Youngjo before answering. "Uh, Commercial Music." He paused, so used to people beginning to tune him out the second they heard he was going for music instead of something they considered more appropriate. Youngjo didn't change the subject or pull his gaze from Hongjoong, just waited for him to continue. "I'm focusing in Composition and Arranging, but my end goal is to get my foot into record production once I graduate."

"No shit? That's awesome. I know you follow my soundcloud, but do you post your stuff on yours?"

Hongjoong flushed, trying to sink deeper into the couch. "Not as much as I should. Mainly my own stuff I make in my spare time. Covers and the occasional original piece. The music department pushes working with others so we get a range of experience, and I'm sure my friends wouldn't care if I uploaded works involving them, but I haven't gotten around to it."

"Don't suppose you have any samples with you? Your own work or school projects. Whatever you feel like sharing."

That was all the invitation Hongjoong needed to pull his bag into his lap, digging his laptop out. It was more than a little nice to have someone show such a genuine interest in his work, especially someone he looked up to. Smile on his face, he moved closer to Youngjo. "Let me know if it gets annoying."

"Talking about music would never be annoying."

It was one thing to talk about his projects with his friends. While they had some musicial knowledge and would let him ramble on and on as long as his heart desired, it was different talking to someone who _understood_. Who knew the process, the steps involved, could comment on the time and effort or the little things that Hongjoong had thrown in. Someone he could talk to about the themes in his music, the decisions he made, and offer advice if he wanted it or even constructive comments in general. Mingi came close since they shared the same major, but it had been some time since Hongjoong had opened up to anyone outside of their little friend circle.

Hongjoong chatting about his own work turned into Youngjo getting up to grab his own laptop, sharing samples of what he was currently working on, or projects that were scrapped for one reason or another. From there, it turned into swapping techniques and secrets they had uncovered, stories thrown in here or there as they related to what was going on- and even some that didn't. Hongjoong laughed, winced, delved into things he hadn't thought about in years, ranted, complained, commented. He didn't realize when Seonghwa had wandered off to talk to Youngjo's housemates, nor when him and Youngjo had ended up almost pressed against each other, lost in their interests.

He only noticed when Youngjo stretched, muttering something about going to the bathroom and grabbing something to drink, asking Hongjoong if he wanted something. Hongjoong blinked, declining the offer before turning to ask Seonghwa a question only to find him seated at the table, laughing at something one of the other two had said. Guilt swarmed through him, digging its nails into his chest. They had stopped by in order to work on his assignment, only for him to get caught up in a conversation with Seonghwa's friend, losing track of time until hours had passed. "Sorry, Seonghwa. We lost track of time."

Seonghwa looked over, blinking at Hongjoong with a note of surprise and curiosity. "It's alright. I was sharing Youngjo stories with Seoho."

"Don't believe a word that demon tells you," Youngjo warned as he passed by.

Seoho grinned, tilting his head back to look up at Youngjo as he approached. "Which one? Me or him?"

"Both of you."

Hongjoong used the lull in conversation to check his phone, not paying any attention to the slew of group chat messages he had missed and instead focusing on the direct messages sent his way instead.

[ Yeonytail: hey are you guys alright?

Hiddies: ???

Hiddies: Yeah we're fine

Yeonytail: seonghwas not answering his phone and I haven't heard from him all day

Hiddies: OH

Hiddies: He left his phone at home

Hiddies: We'll be back later tonight

Hiddies: I can give him a message???

Yeonytail: no its fine

Hiddies: You sure?

Yeonytail: yeah it can wait

Yeonytail: have fun ]

It wasn't concern rolling around in his chest at how easily Yeosang dismissed whatever he wanted to say. If it were important or an emergency, Hongjoong was sure that something would have been said or at least implied. It wasn't even really curiosity. It was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind telling him something had been a little off, a little different from how Yeosang normally went about conversations.

[Hiddies: Is Yeosang alright?

woo: what do you mean

Hiddies: He messaged me asking about Seonghwa

woo: oh 

Hiddies: ???

woo: what did he say

Hiddies: Wanted to know if we were okay since Seonghwa hadnt been answering his phone

woo: thats it?

Hiddies: Yeah

Hiddies: Was there supposed to be more?

woo: nah

woo: hes just a little stressed 

woo: ill talk to him

woo: maybe me him and san will have a movie night

woo: any suggestions?

Hiddies: Bambi

woo: ooo good idea ]

That was one small weight from his shoulders, even if concern for Yeosang kept rolling through him. Wooyoung would keep him up to date if it was anything serious. Youngjo plopped back down on the couch, stretching out before settling still, casting a glance towards Hongjoong. "Everything okay?" His concern was clear in his tone and his expression, attention focused solely on Hongjoong and the phone in his hand.

"What?" Hongjoong looked up, lbinking at the other for a second before pocketing the device. "Yeah. Everything's fine. Just stress back at campus. Nothing out of the ordinary." Hongjoong shifted, sliding his laptop back into his bag, eyes flicking up towards the table and his companion. "Yeosang's been trying to reach you, Seonghwa."

He watched Seonghwa's brows pull together, concern and confusion rolling into one as Seonghwa moved as if he were going to lift himself from the chair at the table. "Did he say why?"

Hongjoong shook his head. "I messaged Wooyoung. He's got it covered. It's probably stress with the performance coming up. You know how they all get."

There was a moment of hesitation before Seonghwa sat back down, the tension in his face not leaving. "Alright."

"Performance?" Seoho asked, looking between the two of them with interest.

"Yeah, we have a couple friends that are in theater related majors. They have a performance coming up soon, so everyone's a little on edge."

"Wait, so a music major, and a theater major?" Youngjo looked amused, corners of his lips curling as he raised a questioning brow in Seonghwa's direction.

"Two music majors, a dance major, two theater majors, a design major, and a fine arts major," Seonghwa supplied with a small smile in return.

"Damn, look at you, collecting art kids. How on earth did you manage that?"

Hongjoong choked back a laugh, hiding his smile behind his hand as he fixed Seonghwa with a look. "Oh man, that's a story." Seonghwa turned back towards Seoho with a huff and a pout at Hongjoong's declaration, lifting a drink to his lips. "First time I met him was at the cafe near campus. Second time was the same day when he wasn't watching where he was going and ran into our friend Yunho- the dance major- when he was busking. Despite it _clearly_ being Seonghwa's fault, Yunho felt terrible and convinced him to let him treat Seonghwa to dinner to make up for it.

"Yunho comes trotting up to dinner with Seonghwa in tow. You would have thought he brought a puppy home with how everyone acted. It was so damn funny. Seonghwa looking like a deer in the headlights while everyone kept asking him questions and trying to strike up conversation. He probably thought he saw the last of us, but mine and Mingi's- the other music major- our classes overlap with business, so next day Mingi spots him and runs over. And let me tell you, seeing six feet worth of _anything_ coming at you is terrifying enough when you know Mingi-"

"I thought I was going to be bowled over."

"I mean, you basically _were_. And next thing I know, Seonghwa's joining us for lunch. And then he keeps coming back to the cafe-"

"The cafe doesn't _count_! You _work_ there!"

"He kept coming back to the cafe," Hongjoong continued as if Seonghwa hadn't spoken up, "so everyone kept running into him, and basically we adopted a cat."

"You guys wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Wooyoung is very convincing when he wants to be."

"Which is all the time."

"And yet, you always fall for it." Seonghwa gave another huff, the heat in his cheeks clear as day. Hongjoong grinned ear to ear, and the only thing that saved Seonghwa from a teasing poke to his cheek or side was the distance between them. "You love us, don't deny it."

"I would trade the lot of you away for one cornchip."

"I'm glad." There was something soft in the look Youngjo settled on Seonghwa, traces of a smile on his face, eyes dancing in what Hongjoong could only call adoration. "You deserve a good group of people." Seonghwa shifted under the gaze that soon turned teasing. "You had me worried, asshole. You barely returned my messages when you left for uni. I thought for sure I'd have to drive up there and save you from whatever torture you were enduring. But you show up here with a guy like Hongjoong, and I find out you were adopted by _arts kids_ of all people."

"_You're_ an art kid."

"What are you guys doing here?" The sudden topic change had everyone blinking at Youngjo, trying to figure out where he was going. "Like, I know you wanted to borrow my recording set up, but what are you doing _here_ in the city?"

"Ah. It's... My parents are hosting a small family dinner. You know how they are, Youngjo. Ever since high school they've been on me about a girlfriend."

"So, you brought your boyfriend to your family dinner?"

"No. Hongjoong and I aren't dating."

"Not for a lack of trying," Hongjoong muttered, leaning back into the couch. "I'm his fake date. Spite date? He helps me with my song, and I agree to spend the weekend making his mom's life hell by daring to exist in the same space as her." He spoke like he was stating simple facts, giving a shrug at the end, unaware of the frown that had begun to tug at the corners of Youngjo's smile and the way his eyes darted to Seonghwa.

"Your mom must be pissed."

"She's had a few choice words, yes."

Hongjoong glanced between the two friends. At Youngjos calculating look. At Seonghwa's adamant focus on the glass in his hands. "So... what?" Youngjo asked, careful with his words, though Hongjoong didn't miss the hardening tone to them. "You take advantage of someone to get back at your mom for what? Pestering you like moms do?"

"I'm not taking advantage-"

"You are. Hell, my mom gets on my case about finding someone and settling down, but you don't see me pretending to date Seoho or Hwanwoong to get her off my back."

"It's different. You know what she's like-"

"Yeah, which is why I'm concerned that you'd drag someone into that. Your mom's not exactly the picture perfect definition of support."

"Hongjoong and I talked about it-"

"Did you explain what sort of gargoyle your mother is? That he'd be stuck with that all weekend? Shit, Seonghwa, have you even asked him how he's handling it?" Seonghwa's head snapped towards Youngjo as if the words had struck him hard across the face, but he couldn't answer, the shock and hurt enough for Youngjo to have his answer. "Yeah. Good to know in the last couple of years you haven't changed at all."

He stood from the couch, running both hands through his hair. "Whatever. Work on warm ups with Seoho. I'm going to check on the equipment." Without waiting for a word from anyone Youngjo stalked towards the stairs, descending to the basement.

Hongjoong blinked, turning and locking eyes with a stricken looking Seonghwa, one hand raised and mouth open like he wanted to say something. "Hongjoong, I-"

He flashed Seonghwa a smile, shouldering his bag as he rose from the couch. "Don't worry. I'm gonna go talk to him." 

That didn't seem to help Seonghwa's nerves any if his unchanging expression was any indication. Hongjoong didn't give himself time to think on it, moving down the steps after Youngjo, trying to plan what he was going to say in his mind. He hadn't expected such a reaction out of a simple statement. Seonghwa had been pretty open about things in the beginning. Sure, Seonghwa's mom was a little bit more than he expected, but it wasn't anything he hadn't been prepared for.

The basement was an interesting mix of mirrored walls and sound equipment, the set up speaking volumes as to what it was used for. Solid floors, open spaces, plenty of room if one wanted to spend their afternoon dancing. Hongjoong paused, momentarily impressed by the set up. If Yunho were with him, he was sure he'd never hear the end of it. He made a mental note to snap some pictures before they left, giving his head a little shake and turning back to the task at hand.

Off to the side, tucked into a space separate from the rest of the area, Hongjoong found a decently spaced room, door open and exposing the set up inside. Like everything else, it was impressive, a none too cheap set up with a large monitor perched on a desk, cables sitting off to the side, waiting to be connected to a laptop. Sitting at the desk, head in his hands, sat Youngjo, unaware of Hongjoong approaching. He cleared his throat, giving a light rap of his knuckles against the door. Youngjo didn't start like he expected him to at the sudden intrusion, just looked up and over his shoulder, giving a deep sigh when he realized who it was, and leaning back in the chair he was seated in.

"You okay?"

Youngjo took a second to answer, eyes focused on the ceiling. "I thought I was."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I'm not going to unload my personal problems onto you, Hongjoong. I get the feeling you have enough of that without me adding to it."

Hongjoong gave a hum. Youngjo wasn't wrong. He was often the one the others went to for advice, or when things built up too far, their support in difficult times. God knew they needed it considering how stressful their lives could be. "I knew what I was getting into." Youngjo glanced at him, a furrow between his brows as he waited for Hongjoong to continue. "When I agreed to this entire fake dating thing. I wouldn't agree until Seonghwa was up front with me about it."

After a brief hesitation Youngjo gave a nod, a flash of guilt marking his features as he slowly sat up. "You're in love with him." It was more a statement than a question, and after the initial shock at the realization that Youngjo had heard him earlier, all Hongjoong could do was nod. "Does he know?"

"Yeah. I told him about a year ago."

"Turned you down?"

"Still waiting on an answer."

Youngjo sucked in a breath, holding it for a moment while his attention turned back to the ceiling. "Figures." What exactly that was supposed to mean, Hongjoong didn't know. Youngjo sat up before he could ask. "From one lovesick idiot to another, don't get caught up in Seonghwa."

"You...?"

A nod. "Back in high school. I don't think he ever realized. I never told him. We kind of drifted apart before I could. But, god, it's hard not to be at least a little bit in love with Park Seonghwa. Even with how obnoxiously oblivious of his actions he can be and after all these years."

"If you worried about why he asked me to agree to all this, it's not because of how I feel about him. I asked, back when we were first talking about it. He assured me my confession didn't have anything to do with his asking me. Hell, he told me not to worry about the fake dating thing. I'm the one that pushed."

Youngjo gave a hum, eyes momentarily closing. "I'm sure it played at least a little into his original decision."

"Aren't you putting words in his mouth?" Hongjoong wasn't here to fight, and judging from how easy the conversation was going, Youngjo not trying to defend himself, but adjusting his words based on information Hongjoong presented to him, Youngjo didn't either. 

"Probably. Maybe a bit of projecting, too." At least he was honest, a wistful smile pulling at his lips. "I'm serious, though, Hongjoong. I'm not here to dump my problems on you, or get you to pick or choose sides. I just want you to be aware. Seonghwa's someone that doesn't always see the consequences of his actions. He might not have used your feelings as a basis for asking you, but I'm sure he's not thinking about how asking you to fake date him for a weekend in front of his parents is effecting them."

Hongjoong wanted to argue. Wanted to dispute what Youngjo was saying, brush it off as no big deal.

But he couldn't.

He couldn't stand there and lie to Youngjo about how the feelings he had so carefully locked away until they resurfaced. He couldn't act as if the gifts, the smiles, the attention didn't stir up thoughts and fantasies of what ifs he hadn't considered in over a year. He couldn't stand there and lie to himself the same time he tried to look Youngjo in the eye and lie to him. It wouldn't be fair. Not to himself. Not to Youngjo, who as far as Hongjoong could tell had been truthful to him.

"Don't let yourself get so caught up in one person you miss out on other opportunities. Be fair to yourself, Hongjoong. Sometimes things don't work out, and it's okay to move on. No one's going to fault you for it." A moment of silence stretched between them, Hongjoong staring at Youngjo until the other gave a sigh, running his hands through his hair and finally turning to look at him. "Let me see your laptop. Let's get this hooked up and ready to go before they make their way down here."

"You sure? We don't have to do this."

"Nah, it's fine. I'm good. Let me see your phone while I'm at it."

"My phone?"

"Yeah. My number. In case you wanna chat or meet up or anything. The school you guys go to is a couple hours away, right? I can't guarantee I'll be a good booty call, but I can be a decent conversationalist."

Hongjoong paused with his bag halfway unzipped, staring at Youngjo for a second before he burst into laughter. Both devices were passed over easily enough when he had calmed down. "I think my roommates would cry if I brought a booty call home."

"Good cry?"

"One because I wouldn't tell him, and the other because he'd be proud."

"Sounds like some good roommates."

"The best." The words were genuine, a fond smile momentarily flashing across Hongjoong's face before he was pressing close to Youngjo, peering at the equipment and the way his laptop was being handled.

It wasn't long after that Seoho and Seonghwa made their way downstairs, Hwanwoong trailing not too far behind. Seonghwa, eyes a little wider than usual, body a little more tense and alert than it was earlier, glanced between Hongjoong and Youngjo, pausing not that far from the bottom of the stairs. Hongjoong and Youngjo both flashed him a quick smile, Youngjo's a little more strained than Hongjoong's. "We have everything set up." Youngjo stood, relinquishing the chair at the desk to Hongjoong. "I'm going to go grab some water bottles and a quick snack. I'll be right back."

Seonghwa looked frantically from Youngjo to Hongjoong as the other passed by him, mouth opening and closing until he found the words he wanted to say. "Is everything...?

"We talked. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I think you need to talk to him." Seonghwa glanced behind him at the stairs, hesitating like he was debating going after Youngjo, but Hongjoong curled his fingers around Seonghwa's wrist, drawing his attention back onto him. "Give him some space. For now, let's focus on getting this done. I can't guarantee how long it'll take."

There was a moment Hongjoong thought Seonghwa would argue with him, his attention switching back to the stairs, a tension in his shoulders, brows pulling together as he considered his options. Finally, he let loose a breath, shoulders slumping, turning back towards Hongjoong. "Okay."

Youngjo slunk back into the room sometime while Hongjoong was going over the guide files, settling close to Seoho. Hongjoong wouldn't say it was awkward having an audience while he worked- various friends had sat in on recording sessions in the past, adding commentary and making things fun to keep the mood light- but having _Youngjo_, someone he looked up to, added a certain nervousness to the mix he hadn't felt since beginning his degree years ago.

Despite his nerves, Hongjoong's attention soon focused on the task at hand. Seonghwa followed, paying close attention to the direction Hongjoong gave him, adjusting where he needed to. While not a complete change, it was clear Hongjoong took his work seriously, knowing what he wanted and not afraid to work to try to get it, or even adjusting when something Seonghwa did ended up better than he could have hoped. Seoho spoke up occasionally, adding fun comments that kept the overall mood light, kept Seonghwa from getting too frustrated when things had to be recorded over and over. 

Hongjoong hadn't realized how late it had gotten, how many hours had passed down in Youngjo's basement, until Seonghwa asked for the time during a brief pause, visibly paling when Youngjo told him how late it was.

"Take it that's our cue to head back?"

"Sorry, Hongjoong."

"Hey, no worries. We can finish up back at campus."

Packing up was easy, goodbyes exchanged. Seoho chatted easily with Seonghwa near the front door while Youngjo pulled Hongjoong in for a quick hug. "Think about what I said. And don't be a stranger. I gave you my number, use it."

"Of course. I need more embarrassing Seonghwa stories."

Seonghwa's head whipped towards them. "More?" He missed the raised brow Youngjo gave Hongjoong, but the smile Hongjoong wasn't hiding was clear as day. "What did you tell him?" He didn't get an answer, Youngjo and Hongjoong just sharing a smile. "Youngjo, I swear to god, what did you tell him? Hongjoong-"

Youngjo gave a bark of laughter, waving the two of them out the door. "Nice meeting you, Hongjoong!"

They barely made it down the street before Seonghwa rounded on him. "Don't believe a thing he tells you. He thrives on chaos."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Hongjoong..."

"Relax. It's fine. Your secrets are safe with me. Wooyoung won't find out about the time you got stuck in a tree and cried because you didn't want your parents to call the fire department."

"Hongjoong!"

Hongjoong jolted out of Seonghwa's reach, cackling as he bounded a couple paces away. "If you didn't want me to know embarrassing stories, you shouldn't have let me meet your friend!" Seonghwa huffed, cheeks red, a pout on his lips. "You should introduce me to more of your friends."

"You met him."

"What?"

"Youngjo. He's the only friend I really had. My parents didn't exactly make having friends easy. There were a few people I hung out with, but we were never close." Seonghwa shrugged, like the fact he had one decent friend growing up didn't bother him.

"How'd you two meet?"

"Through family. Our parents know each other through business, so we were always around one another growing up."

Hongjoong nodded, adjusting the bag on his shoulders as he considered his next question. "What happened? Between the two of you?"

"I... I'm not really sure." And it was clear from how his pace slowed and his brows drew together, that the fact that he didn't know bothered Seonghwa. "We were always close, but after I left for university we just... slowly stopped talking as much. I didn't- I didn't think it was a big deal." 

Youngjo's words came to the forefront of Hongjoong's mind. That Seonghwa didn't always realize the consequences of his actions, though he was sure Youngjo's feelings didn't help matters any. He couldn't imagine what sort of pain it would cause if him and Seonghwa drifted apart, especially if he hadn't already confessed his feelings.

"You should talk to him. Sooner rather than later."

Seonghwa flashed him a smile. "I know. I will." 

The rest of the walk was filled with idle chatter, Hongjoong recounting what him and Youngjo had talked about, Seonghwa mentioning embarrassing Youngjo stories Seoho had told him. It was easy conversation, safe conversation. It lightened the mood and cleared what little anxieties remained in the air. 

The pleasantries were short lived when they arrived back at the house. Before they had even made it through the door Seonghwa had tensed, taking in a deep breath before slipping inside. His mom was on them before the door had fully closed, her eyes darting from Seonghwa to Hongjoong, freezing in her tracks at the sight of the jacket and beret that decorated him. Hongjoong stared back, waiting for her to say something, knowing it was a matter of time before something slipped from her lips.

Her attention snapped back to her son. "Seonghwa, I need to speak to you."

Instead of answering her, Seonghwa turned to Hongjoong, placing a small kiss to the top of his head. "I'll meet you upstairs."

There was a moment of hesitation before Hongjoong nodded, glancing back over his shoulder at Seonghwa and his mother disappearing into the kitchen.

Laying across Seonghwa's bed, phone in hand, scrolling through social media, it didn't take Hongjoong long to hear raised voices. The demanding yet whining tone of Seonghwa's mother, crowing about _her_ feelings, Seonghwa not respecting _her_, while Seonghwa was defensive, fed up enough to the point of raising his voice in a way Hongjoong had never heard from him before.

It wasn't that much longer Seonghwa stormed up the stairs, Hongjoong raising a questioning look his direction that went ignored in favor of Seonghwa flopping face down onto the bed, pulling a pillow closer to him and burying his face in it. Hongjoong didn't ask what was wrong, didn't try to make it better, he didn't know if it was something that was able to be smoothed over so easily. He simply moved farther up the bed until his back rested against the headboard, threading his fingers through dark strands of hair.

They stayed in silence, Seonghwa only getting up to grab his phone from the desk it had sat on all day, flopping back into the bed on his side, the light of the screen lighting up his face. Seonghwa was still tense, refusing to look at or speak to him. Hongjoong couldn't fault him for that. Especially not after the argument Seonghwa had with his mother. Hongjoong merely pressed close enough to be a silent support, a reminder that Seonghwa wasn't alone.

"I'm going to add Youngjo to the group chat."

He wasn't met with a response, nor did he expect one.

[Hiddies added pls9ravn to the chat]

Hiddies: Guys this is Seonghwa's friend Youngjo

Choi-ce San: seonghwa has friends?

Big Middie Committee: i cant believe we're being replaced

Yeonytail: You routinely steal half his lunch

Big Middie Committee: AND GIVE SOME OF IT TO YOU

Yeonytail: Details

Big Middie Committee: wait

Big Middie Committee: is that like

Big Middie Committee: soundcloud user pls9ravn?

Big Middie Committee: please dont tell me thats soundcloud user ravn pls9ravn

pls9ravn: lol

pls9ravn: sup

Big Middie Committee: SEONGHWA

Big Middie Committee: YOU DIDNT TELL ME YOU KNEW PLS9RAVN

hwa: ???

Big Middie Committee: THE PLS9RAVN SEONGHWA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hwa: dont inflate his ego

pls9ravn: too late

Hiddies: Is Mingi okay?

Choi-ce San: he's having a moment

woo: i think he stopped breathing

pls9ravn: who wants to see baby seonghwa pics

woo: :eyes:

woo: baby seonghwa pics?

Yeonytail: seonghwa wasnt born an old man?

pls9ravn: [image attachment: img2235jw33p.jpg]

two dogs in a trench coat: oh my god

Yeonytail: I'm sorry I ever doubted you

woo: SEONGHWA?!?!?

Choi-ce San: fucking superb you funky little death omen

[pls9ravn has chaged his name to 'funky little death omen' ]

[hwa added macar-woong to the chat]

[hwa added seoho to the chat]

funky little death omen: oh no

funky little death omen: how did you get their users so quickly

hwa: [image attachment: img6335skx5.jpg]

funky little death omen: YOU SAID YOU DELETED THAT

hwa: i lied

macar-woong: ???

funky little death omen: forget you saw anything

macar-woong: never

macar-woong: its my new wallpaper

macar-woong: what is it

funky little death omen: its nothing

hwa: young youngjo

seoho: LMAO

seoho: You were so cute what happened

macar-woong: yeah new wallpaper

seoho: he kICKED ME

Big Middie Committee: ????

Big Middie Committee: new people who?

woo: he lives!

funky little death omen: macar-woong- hwanwoong  
seoho - seoho

funky little death omen: unfortunately theyre my housemates

seoho: oh are these the friends your cute friend mentioned?

funky little death omen: stop hitting on my friends

woo: hongjoong or seonghwa?

seoho: yes

woo: ...

woo: yeah thats a valid answer

Hiddies: Big Middie Committee - Mingi  
woo - Wooyoung  
Yeonytail - Yeosang  
Choi-ce San - San  
Two dogs in a trench coat - Yunho  
ʕ •̀ ω •́ ʔ - Jongho

woo: better hurry hongjoong 

woo: before youngjos friend snatches seonghwa up

Hiddies: Fair warning the chat gets wild

Hiddies: lfdshjlksf

Hiddies: WOOYOUNG

hwa: he doesnt have to worry about that

woo: ...

woo: what does that mean

funky little death omen: cant be worse than our group chat

seoho: all dongju sends are memes

Yeonytail: sounds like san

Choi-ce San: I send more than memes

Yeonytail: selfies dont count

Choi-ce San: Bullshit

seoho: so he's like woongie

macar-woong: im taking that as a compliment

seoho: <3

woo: SEONGHWA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Hiddies: I don’t think you’re getting an answer Woo ]

Hell, judging from the way Seonghwa refused to look at him, curled up on his side of the bed with his phone tucked close, it seemed like Hongjoong wasn't getting one, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this, there's only two more chapters left! Exiting, right? We're getting into some heavier things, and some things I've been excited to share for a while. 
> 
> The next chapter might take me a while, I don't have a lot of it written out, but feel free to hit me up on twitter or cc (woojinmp3) for previews, updates, or general yelling about the boys.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a month I finally have an update for you guys. Big shout out to the people who stuck with me and were patient while I worked on this. It's a beast of a chapter, but I didn't want to split it up. The end of this one has months of preparation put into it, and is easily my favorite part of the entire fic. I hope everyone enjoys.
> 
> This chapter does have some mild nsfw tones and joking mentions of vore, as one does when texting friends.

"Are you sure I can't help?" Hongjoong asked for what had to be the twelveth time, laying on his stomach across Seonghwa's bed, propped on his elbows as he watched the other run a broom and swiffer over the bedroom floor for what Hongjoong knew to be the fifth time. It would have been obnoxious, maybe a little annoying, if Hongjoong didn't know cleaning was how Seonghwa dealt with stress. It gave him something to do, something to focus on, and he wouldn't get in the way of a man and the one stress reliever he had.

"It's fine." And once again, Seonghwa didn't look at him, focused on the task at hand as he scrubbed at a spot that had been particularly stubborn. Seonghwa hadn't spared him more than a glance or two since the morning, speaking even fewer words, and only to answer questions he couldn't ignore.

Hongjoong watched for a couple seconds longer at how Seonghwa gave up on the floors, moving the little trinkets on his desk around as if he hadn't adjusted their position three times already. He rolled off of the bed, gathering the clothing and supplies he had set aside the night before. "While you finish cleaning I'm going to get changed."

Seonghwa's head snapped towards him, eyes wide in a sudden panic. "Don't-"

"Don't worry, I know how much you like cleaning." His words are teasing, and it's clear Seonghwa picks up on it with the way his cheeks puff in a pout. "I'll pick up after myself. We're leaving tonight anyway, right?" Hongjoong waited for Seonghwa's nod before continuing. "I'll pack up before dinner so we can leave whenever we're ready."

There was a moments pause where Seonghwa stared at him, starightening up where he stood. "That's... actually a good idea."

"You should try having one some day." He gave a loud and ungraceful squawk as Seonghwa chucked a stuffed animal at him in retaliation, grinning at the huff and small glare given to him. 

The bathroom was spotless, everything wiped down and organized in a way only Seonghwa could manage. Hongjoong was careful setting his own things on the counter, changing into his nicer clothing. It was fancier than anything he owned on his own, an outfit Wooyoung had specifically designed for him one time when Hongjoong had agreed to model something, not knowing the amount of nitpicking and adjustments Wooyoung would make before the project was considered complete. 

The dark turtleneck and slacks are easy enough to slide on, the silver accents of his belt standing out nicely against the black fabrics from where it settled around his waist. Hongjoong leaned against the counter, squinting into the mirror as fingers combed through his hair, mind trying to recall how Wooyoung had wanted it styled. He gave up with his bangs brushed forward, instead focusing on the light make up he knew how to apply himself. It wasn't anything spectacular or eye catching, nothing that would get him compliments, but did well to subtly accent the look he was going for. Thin silver accessories came next, the three necklaces settling against his chest.

It would have been easy to end the outfit there, but Wooyoung had spent too much time and effort for him to forgo the blazer, the light cream color a stark contrast to the rest of his outfit. The lighting in the bathroom was completely different from the show he had participated in, the colors of the clothing reflecting in a way he wasn't used to. Something uncertain settled in the pit of his stomach the longer he stared at himself in the mirror, nerves causing him to tug at the cuffs of the jacket, shifting on his feet. It wasn't that he wasn't attractive, his friends made sure to boost his confidence any chance he could get. It was more the fact he wasn't used to dressing up so nicely, and the weight of the dinner finally settling onto his shoulders.

Gathering what nerves he had left and swallowing over a growing lump in his throat, Hongjoong snapped a quick selfie, gathering his things together in a desperate attempt to have something to do while waiting for a response.

He didn't have to wait long, phone chiming from where it sat on the counter.

[ woo: if seonghwa doesnt have you for dinner i will

Hiddies: Does San know you're into vore?

woo: bold of you to assume hes not the kinky one in the relationship

Hiddies: I've spent enough time in your dorm room to know the truth

woo: you never complained before

Hiddies: I draw the line at vore

Hiddies: Sorry Wooyoung

woo: I DESIGNED YOUR OUTFIT, I HAVE RIGHTS ]

Hongjoong tried to stifle a laugh, smiling down at his phone at Wooyoung's antics. It was almost magical how a simple chat with friends could help soothe some worries for the moment, bringing a smile to his face. Wooyoung was exceptionally good at it, his sense of humor and ability to play off those around him doing wonders for anyone's mood.

[ woo: you should wear the beret you got the other day

woo: itd be a nice touch 

Hiddies: Woo you're a genius

woo: :thumbsup: ]

He gathered his sleeping clothes and make up together, making sure he didn't miss anything and hadn't created a mess that would stress Seonghwa out before scampering back towards the room. He barely cast a glance around the room as he made his way to his bags, shoving the items into one of the pockets before fishing around for the hat Seonghwa had bought him the day before.

With his prize in hand, he finally glanced up, catching Seonghwa staring directly at him, face an obvious show of surprise, and Hongjoong liked to think there was a subtle red along Seonghwa's cheeks when they locked eyes. It was the most attention Seonghwa had given him since they had woken up that morning.

"Right. You weren't part of our group when I modeled for Wooyoung." Hongjoong stood, adjusting the jacket before holding his arms out, twirling in a circle. "What do you think? I think I got the short end of the stick. Wooyoung's project took way longer than mine, but he did let me keep the jacket. It's... it's the nicest thing I own, if I'm being honest."

"It's-" Seonghwa paused to clear his throat. "It looks good on you. Are you..." He trailed off, nodding towards the hat in Hongjoong's hands.

"Oh. Yeah. Wooyoung thought it'd be a nice touch." The beret settled on top of his head, Hongjoong brushing some stray annoying hairs out of the way.

"Here." Seonghwa closed the distance between them, adjusting how the beret sat, his fingers gentle against skin where they brushed his forehead. Hongjoong froze, breath caught in his throat, torn between wanting to watch the way Seonghwa's face dipped into one of soft concentration and wanting to try to watch what his hands were doing. Once the beret was settled Seonghwa seemed to realize what he was doing, jerking away from Hongjoong like he had been burned, cradling his hands to his chest and putting a bit of distance between them. "I-I'm going to get ready."

Before he could think about what he was doing, Hongjoong reached out, catching the hem of Seonghwa's shirt in his fingers as he brushed by, worried eyes looking up at his friend. "Hey, everything alright?"

Seonghwa hesitated a moment, staring down at him with barely contained panic, swallowing hard before giving a small nod and a smile Hongjoong knew was a lie. It stung in a way he had never felt before, piercing and cold, spearing him right through the heart. Seonghwa was lying to him. Seonghwa was keeping something that was bothering him, something relating to Hongjoong, a secret.

Hongjoong couldn't stop his own panic from flaring up, caught in his throat, wanting to press until he could drag the truth forward.

_'Don't._

_'Don't lie to me.'_

"Yeah," though Seonghwa's voice didn't hold any confidence to it. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm going to get ready." One of his hands gave Hongjoong's what was supposed to be a reassuring squeeze, freeing his shirt and padding his way out of the door and towards the bathroom before Hongjoong had time to form a response.

Hongjoong tried not to let how quickly Seonghwa left the room hurt him. It could have been any number of things. Anxieties from the upcoming dinner- Hongjoong knew he was beginning to feel those- or even a sudden realization about needing to get prepared. There was no reason for him to think he had been at fault, the reason Seonghwa had rushed from the room so quickly. Nothing he told himself made the sting fade any quicker, though. A pin in his heart that Seonghwa had no idea he had placed there, pushing with every bit of distance put between them.

He busied himself with packing up his things, giving the room a good once over to make sure he had gathered everything. The last thing he wanted to do was leave something important two hours away from campus, but the thought of leaving something conspicuous laying around Seonghwa's room, something for his parents to find during one of their little sweeps while Seonghwa was away, did come to mind once or twice.

Probably best not to push his luck any farther than he already had. 

Hongjoong eyed the messaged he had missed, catching up on news and gossip while waiting for Seonghwa to finish preparing for the night. He didn't know which of them spent the most time preparing, losing track of how long Seonghwa had been gone in his attempts to try to rid himself of his own growing anxieties. When his friend returned, tugging at the sleeves of a jacket, Hongjoong couldn't help but stare.

And then failed to try to hold back a laugh.

Seonghwa looked gorgeous, the dark colors of his jeans doing well to show off the length of his legs, his own turtleneck tucked into the waistband of his pants and hugging his frame. A necklace sat on the fabric close to his neck, a little charm dangling from it. He looked up from where he had been tugging at the cuffs of his shirt, blinking at Hongjoong.

"S-sorry. It's just..." Hongjoong gestured between the two of them, unable to contain the smile on his face. "If someone didn't know any better, they might think we planned this."

Seonghwa's attention dropped to his own outfit, taking a second to take in what Hongjoong meant before looking back up, eyes flicking over to the desk chair. Hongjoong followed the movement, his attention landing on the black jacket waiting to be slipped on. Before he could stop himself he was laughing, bent over as he wheezed for breath. Even Seonghwa managed a little laugh before he fell quiet again, Hongjoong's laughter ringing a second or two longer around the room.

It was impossible to miss the way Seonghwa's gaze dropped, the smile that had been on his face disappearing under a frown, something distant in his gaze that stretched farther than the floorboards beneath their feet. "You sure you're okay? We can take a walk, get some fresh air."

A beat of hesitation fell from Seonghwa, a moment where he didn't move, didn't breathe, where Hongjoong knew his words were being considered and not simply brushed aside. "It's... nerves. I haven't seen my aunt and uncle in a while, and the last I spoke to my grandmother was so long ago she's sure to give me an earful." There was something truthful in the words, even if something in Hongjoong nagged that Seonghwa hadn't told him all of it.

"Is that a no to the walk?"

A quick flash of a smile told him Seonghwa was alright, even if he was lost to thoughts he wouldn't confide in Hongjoong. "Maybe later. For now, we should head downstairs before my mother gets suspicious and comes barging up here."

"How much do you think it would traumatize her if she found us making out?"

He meant it as a joke, something to lighten the mood and bring a smile to Seonghwa's face that lasted longer than a split second. Jokes like that were common place in their friend group, everyone confident enough to laugh and joke along. Seonghwa had been on the receiving end of the teasing most of the time, but never had he looked as uncomfortable as he did now, hands fidgeting in a way Hongjoong hadn't seen since Seonghwa had first been introduced to their group, air thick with anxiety and fear that had Hongjoong straightening and wondering for a moment if he had said something wrong.

"Seonghwa?"

"Sorry, I- We should head down." There was a moment where Seonghwa looked like he wanted to say more, but the words wouldn't come, hands gesturing awkwardly around and behind himself until his mouth closed with a sharp click. Seonghwa turned, nearly tripping his way down the stairs in his haste.

Hongjoong hesitated at the top, watching his friend run from him, wondering for the first time if agreeing, if playing along as Seonghwa had asked him, nothing different from their usual banter and antics aside from labeling it as fake dating, was ruining a friendship too precious for Hongjoong to consider a life without Seonghwa.

He followed along a little slower, finding Seonghwa busy in the kitchen with his mother, leaving him to place himself awkwardly in the living room with Seonghwa's father, pressing himself into a corner of the couch. It was the first time Hongjoong had been left alone with either of his friend's parents, though thankfully the man seemed content to ignore him, focusing on the paper in his hands and intermittently checking the time.

The longer silence stretched between them the more his nerves worsened, until a chime that echoed throughout the house almost caused him to leap out of his own skin, head snapping towards the front door with all the fear of a rabbit caught in a trap. Seonghwa's dad stood, grumbling out something that sounded like a 'finally' while he made his way to the door, smoothing out the creases of his outfit. Seonghwa's mom followed not too long after, breezing her way out of the kitchen to meet whoever had arrived at the door. Hongjoong took the time and distraction to slink his way into the kitchen, finding Seonghwa adding the finishing touches to one dish or another that still needed to be cooked. 

Hongjoong caught a voice echoing from elsewhere in the house, brushing off concerns of her guests over the state of dinner, stating that Seonghwa would take care of the rest. He didn't miss the way his friend's frown deepened, an annoyed crease developing between his eyes. Hongjoong shrugged his jacket off, folding it nicely and setting it where it wouldn't get dirtied, pushing the sleeves of his turtleneck to his elbows. "How can I help?"

Seonghwa blinked at him, taken aback by his sudden appearance and offer, taking a moment to find words. "Can you chop the vegetables?"

It started an uneasy truce between the two of them. They didn't do much talking outside of Hongjoong asking what else needed to be done, and Seonghwa giving the occasional direction if he noticed something going awry. It did help alleviate some of the weird tension between them, Hongjoong even managing to draw a smile or two from Seonghwa in the time that passed.

Things changed for the better when a second chime echoed throughout the home, Hongjoong not nearly as startled this time, though Seonghwa still hid a snicker behind a hand when he whipped around at the noise, taking a second to recognize it before falling back into his work. It didn't take long for a third force to barge her way into the kitchen, tutting at the two boys. "So this is where you've decided to hide."

The warmest smile Hongjoong had seen on Seonghwa all weekend blossomed across his face, features soft and practically glowing as Seonghwa quickly washed his hands before embracing the older woman in a tight hug. Even when they pulled away she kept her hands on Seonghwa's arms, giving him a good once over. "You look thinner from the last time I saw you. Are they not feeding you at that school? What are your parents paying so much money for?" Her eyes shifted, landing on Hongjoong who gave her a polite smile and bow, trying not to read too much into the critical look she gave him. "You must be the boy Seonghwa cannot stop talking about. What was his name again, dear?"

"Hongjoong," Seonghwa supplied too quickly, an embarrassed flush reddening his cheeks, "Kim Hongjoong. This is my grandmother."

"Ah, yes. Hongjoong." She didn't look too sure, eyeing Seonghwa, but agreeing none the less. "Seonghwa tells me you two met at university. Is that correct?"

"Yes, ma'am. Technically at my job, but we found out we went to the same school not long after."

"And what degree are you working towards? Business as well?" She didn't look too pleased as she asked the question, studying him in a way that made Hongjoong feel like he was facing down a tiger waiting for the opportune moment to strike at unsuspecting prey.

If she noticed the way his shoulders stiffened, the way his smile turned a little strained, she didn't comment on it. "Music."

"Oh? There's a lot of variation to music degrees, isn't there?" 

He blinked, clearly having not expected her to continue asking about his choice in degree, or even have any knowledge about music at all. "I'm focusing on recording and producing."

She didn't pull away, didn't look disgusted or uninterested. She gave an approving nod, having seen something in what he had said or the way he held himself to dispel some of the tension that had gathered in her own shoulders. "That takes a lot of ambition. How far along are you?"

"Same year as Seonghwa. I don't have too much time left before I get my bachelors, but I'm thinking about staying and working towards my masters." 

There was a moment where even Seonghwa looked impressed at the declaration. It wasn't something he had shared with the entire group. Only Mingi and Yunho knew of his plans, having dealt with the late nights spent worrying himself into a panic. Then she nodded, releasing Seonghwa to return to cooking. The woman kept them company for a while, asking Seonghwa about his schooling, the friends he had made, keeping Hongjoong in the conversation as well, much to his surprise. He shared a few embarrassing stories, earning him a flick of water from the sink and an annoyed huff from Seonghwa, before letting grandmother and grandson dip into their own conversation.

She was surprisingly involved in the arts in the area, asking Seonghwa if his mother had relayed her messages about the art exhibition they had visited, mentioning that when she had last gone the artist had seemed confused that Seonghwa hadn't been there with her. 

It was only after she could no longer avoid interacting with the other adults within the living room that she excused herself, leaving them in a much better atmosphere then they had been earlier.

"Sorry. It's been a while since we last saw each other."

"It's fine. She's a lot nicer than your parents."

Seonghwa gave a hum of agreement. "She's much more involved and interested in the arts. I know as much as I do about music and drawing thanks to her, though I think she would have preferred if I got into acting over music."

"No kidding? You, Park Seonghwa, an actor?"

That got him another flick of water sent his way. "Laugh it up, Hongjoong."

They fell back into an easy rhythm broken up by much more relaxed conversation. Hongjoong learned that Seonghwa had spent a lot of time around his grandmother as a kid due to his parents busy schedules. She had been the one to introduce him to a variety of different things from singing to dancing to even modeling, though he had never shown much interest in the latter despite assurances that he would do well.

Before they knew it, dinner was done, the table being set, and conversation moving to a spot in the home neither he nor Seonghwa could avoid. The aunt and uncle that had joined them were a decent middle ground to Seonghwa's parents and his grandmother, involving Hongjoong in some conversation, seeming to genuinely listen, before being pulled back into conversation with the older adults, leaving him to eat his meal in peace.

Everything had been going as well as either of them could have hoped until the sound of vibrations cut through the dinner conversation, Hongjoong giving a quick glance at the screen before silencing the call and turning his attention back to Seonghwa's family. He ignored the disapproving looks and side eyes, delving back into his plate and the conversation. Not a minute later more buzzing broke through. Hongjoong glanced at his phone again, this time a frown tugging at his lips as he flashed the caller id towards Seonghwa.

Wooyoung.

He wouldn't be calling or using their two call emergency signal if it wasn't important, especially with Wooyoung knowing their plans for the weekend. Worry immediately made itself at home in the pit of his stomach, barely a glance being given towards Seonghwa's family before he was pushing himself back from the table. "Sorry, I need to take this. I'll be right back." A quick glance at Seonghwa told him the other was as concerned as he was, Seonghwa giving his hand a reassuring squeeze before Hongjoong quickly made his way to the sliding door that led to the little patio outside.

"Wooyoung?" He was met with gasping breaths that tried to control themselves with little success, tapering off into a whine broken by shuddering cries. "Wooyoung, hey." Hongjoong brought the phone closer, cradling it in both hands as if it might offer some sort of comfort to the one on the other end of it. "Breathe with me, okay?" Hongjoong tried to keep his voice as level as he could despite his own growing concern, emphasizing his breathing, hoping his phone would be able to pick it up.

Wooyoung followed his example as much as he was able to, taking a minute or two to get his breathing under control. It was another handful of seconds before either of them spoke up, Wooyoung's voice small and rough from crying. "I-I'm sorry, Hongjoong, I didn't know who else to call-"

"It's alright. What's going on? You okay?"

"No- I mean, I will be, I just- I think... I think I fucked up. Yeosang and I got into a fight, and him and San went to that art show thing without me, and I was working on my project, but I fucked that up, too, and I don't know what to do-" 

The more he went on, the more Hongjoong could hear the panic setting in again, threatening to choke Wooyoung for a second time in the short while they had been on the phone. "Breathe, Wooyoung. One thing at a time."

Silence fell between them, but Hongjoong didn't pressure Wooyoung to speak, letting the other find the words that he wanted to say. For as straight forward as Wooyoung could be, and how he wore his heart on his sleeve, Hongjoong knew from experience how hard it could be to find the right words.

When he managed to speak up, his voice was quiet, a little muffled, as if he had pressed his face into a fabric of some sort. Not that Hongjoong could fault him any. "Do you..." Wooyoung trailed off, but still Hongjoong didn't press him to continue. "Has San or Yeosang said anything to you? About our friends with benefits thing?"

"No? If they did, I would have told you. What does this-"

"Yeosang said something. During our fight. We both said some things we didn't mean, but that-"

"He used that against you?" There was silence on the other end, but Hongjoong had known Wooyoung long enough to know that there must have been a nod. "What the hell was your fight about to bring that up?" He was met with a whine, one that didn't have a tone of anguish or panic to it, but one he had come to realize meant Wooyoung didn't want to answer. "Wooyoung-"

"I can't. Even if I hate him, I can't. Don't make me say it, Hongjoong." Wooyoung's loyalty was a fierce thing, holding himself to morals and standards that meant no secret escaped, not even during the drunkest moment of gossip. He carried the weight of the secrets given to him to his grave. Hongjoong respected him for it, even if at the moment he wished Wooyoung would throw his damn morals out the window and let him try to help.

Hongjoong sighed, front of the beret lifting as he ran a quick hand through the front of his hair. "Okay. Fine. You said San and Yeosang went to the art show with out you? Because of the fight?"

"Yeah. I told San to go without me. If Yeosang was going to be there, I didn't-" Words transitioned into a shaky breath.

"What about your project?"

"You know how our professors always tell us not to work when we're upset?" Oh, he could tell where this was going, wincing before Wooyoung had even continued. "I fucked it up. I had to fix a seam, and the fabric ripped, and then my bobbin ran out, and when I say this day has sucked, Hongjoong, I mean this day has _sucked_. Worse than that one time-"

"We don't need to revisit that." Just mentioning it brought a heat to his cheeks. "Seonghwa and I are driving back tonight. How about we facetime you on the way? Think you can keep from burning down the dorms before then?"

"Might be tough."

Hongjoong gave a hum, the corners of his lips quirking up. His attention momentarily switched at the sound of the sliding door opening, eyes flicking over to Seonghwa as he spoke up again. "We'll figure out something about your project. Between the lot of us, someone has to have a good idea."

"Okay."

"Try to get some rest, and don't even think about trying to fix whatever you're working on."

He got a small hum in response to that, something light that at least told him Wooyoung was in a bit of a better state compared to the beginning of the call. "Thanks, Hongjoong. Our great Hong Leader~"

"Brat."

"Love you, too."

Even with the call ended, Hongjoong didn't put his phone down, fingers flicking across the screen as he went from one app to another. Despite the call having ended much better than it started, adrenaline still ran through him, causing his hands to shake as he worked to try to type out a text. "Wooyoung had a breakdown," he explained to the approaching Seonghwa, barely glancing up as the other came to stand beside him, his warmth welcoming. "I told him we'd facetime him on the drive back, but I'm going to see if someone can stay with him until then." 

"Where's Yeosang?"

"San has an art show tonight, so Yeosang's with him. I think... I think he got into a real bad fight with Yeosang. I'm reaching out to Yunho about my car, but I was going to call San anyway. He'd kick my ass if I knew Wooyoung was having a hard time and didn't tell him." He let out a short curse when the word he was working on ended up with another typo, deleting the characters to start again. 

Seonghwa’s hands wrapped around his, steadying them and the phone clutched between them. “_Breathe_, Hongjoong.” He waited until Hongjoong took a deep breath before loosening his grip, sliding the phone out of his hands. “Let me.” Hongjoong gave one minor noise of disapproval in the back of his throat before he slumped against Seonghwa, accepting the help and ignoring the way Seonghwa tensed under him. 

With a nod, Seonghwa finished sending the text, only asking a few short questions about the information Hongjoong wanted to send. He didn't bother to hand Hongjoong his phone back, and and neither was Hongjoong in any hurry to get the device back, eyes closed as he focused on calming himself down. 

"What time is it?"

"A little after seven."

"Mm. Call Mingi. Tell him you texted Yunho instructions about the car and what's going on. One of them should be able to make it to the dorms." At least they were kind enough not to delve into the told you so's or joy riding when something so serious was happening. That was one thing Hongjoong liked about their group of friends. They understood, and dropped everything to help each other out, no questions asked. They came together when they needed it most.

He half listened to Seonghwa's brief explanation over the phone once the call connected, able to hear the rumble of Mingi's deep voice through the phone even if he couldn't piece together the words used. The call didn't last long before the hand holding the phone dropped, Seonghwa's free arm wrapping around Hongjoong and beginning to run up and down his arm. "Do you want to call San, or should I?"

Hongjoong hesitated. If he were honest, he didn't want to have to call at all. He'd rather be the one making the trip to the dorms, making sure Wooyoung was alright while San finished up his art show. But reality didn't work as kindly as their hopes and dreams, and he pawed the phone from Seonghwa's grip with a sigh. "I'll do it. I'm the one that talked to Wooyoung."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Finding San's contact wasn't difficult, though the call rang through to voicemail. It wasn't anything Hongjoong didn't expect considering where San was. He felt a little bad calling a second time, knowing that there was always that spike of anxiety when someone called twice, wondering what had happened or who needed help, but their group had established the system for a reason. News would be spreading soon anyway as Yunho and Mingi sent out messages or made calls of their own.

The call rang three times before San answered with a confused, "Hongjoong?"

"Hey, San."

"Hold on." There was some muffled conversation, a second or two of silence before San's voice cut through again. "What's going on? Where are you? Do you need me to come get you?"

Any other time Hongjoong would be touched by how much San cared. At the moment, he hated being the bearer of bad news. "It's not me. It's Wooyoung. He called me in the middle of a breakdown. Something about his project and a fight with Yeosang?"

He heard the breath the other took, could practically see San sinking against a wall as he sighed. "Yeah, Yeosang told me about the fight. I knew I should have..." San trailed off, and Hongjoong made a small sympathetic noise in the back of his throat. "I can't leave right now, but I'll call Jongho. He should be back from his parents place. I'll talk to Yeosang, too. This isn't something the two of them can ignore until it blows over."

"You sure? I can call Jongho-"

"Thanks, but I got it. Enjoy your dinner with Seonghwa."

Hongjoong gave an airy half laugh, the corners of his lips twitching even if San couldn't see it. "I'm pretty sure his mom hates me, but thanks. Oh, I told Wooyoung we'd facetime him on the drive back. Probably in about an hour or so."

"Okay. I should be on my way back by then."

"Thanks, San. Good luck with the art show."

"Back at you. See you later."

"See you." The call ended with a sigh from Hongjoong, head tilting back against Seonghwa's shoulder, arm dropping limp at his side. "I hate this. Of course the one time I'm gone is the one time I should be at campus."

"You can't be upset at yourself for taking a break."

"The thing is, I knew something was going to happen. I _knew_ it. Yunho and Mingi were joking around giving me shit about what if something happens, and of course when things are going so well and I'm actually enjoying myself-" Hongjoong words cut off as Seonghwa's hand pressed against his mouth, keeping him from continuing his little rant.

Seonghwa's hand dropped once he was sure Hongjoong wouldn't pick back up where he had left off, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "It's not your fault, Hongjoong. It's a coincidence. You're allowed to take some time to enjoy yourself. Wooyoung has two partners who are there with him. He has Mingi, Yunho, and Jongho to help him out until San and Yeosang can get there. You've done everything you can for him from here. Let the others handle it. They're all capable adults."

"I know." He knew Seonghwa was right. Hongjoong knew it was a stroke of bad timing, not fate out to deny him even the smallest of pleasures, to take his fleeting moments of happiness and twist them. It still hurt to be so far away, unable to do something for his friends when they were hurting. He gave another sigh, dragging his hand down his face. "Doesn't make me feel any better, though."

"I know." If Hongjoong had the energy, he would have smacked Seonghwa's arm for the amused hum that followed the words. "We can stay out here as long as you need."

"Nah, we should go back inside before your mom throws a fit."

"She started as soon as you left." 

Hongjoong gave a snort, the corners of his lips briefly twitching up. Neither of them made any attempt to move at first, Hongjoong staying pressed against Seonghwa, soaking up the comfort his presence provided. Any other time he might have been embarrassed at the amount of peace Seonghwa brought him just be existing in the same place, with an arm around him and the occasional hum in his chest. Warm and perfect for Hongjoong to curl against, momentarily closing his eyes.

He didn't know how many seconds passed, Seonghwa's chin dropping to rest on his shoulder, his hand dropping to settle against Hongjoong's hip. He did his best to keep the shiver that threatened to travel down his spine under control, sucking in a breath before pulling away from Seonghwa. Hongjoong felt the cold and lack of someone next to him immediately, pushing the thought to the back of his mind. There would be plenty of time later to look back and allow himself a moment to panic when they weren't dealing with the woman from hell.

Back into the house, barely exchanging a glance as they both slid back into their seats. Hongjoong had the decency to give Seonghwa's grandmother a quick smile and apology as he sat, making a point to ignore the glare directed his way from Seonghwa's mother. Seonghwa seemed to have the same idea, pointedly ignoring his other while she waited, every ounce of her attention trained onto them.

"Well?" she finally asked after huffing, her impatience losing to their spite. Hongjoong's eyes lifted, glancing at Seonghwa before settling on the lady across the table from him. "Aren't you going to apologize to me?"

"Apologize for what, exactly?" Seonghwa tried to keep his voice calm, Hongjoong could tell, despite the way his fingers tightened on the chopsticks and the way his eyes seemed to flash with something irritated.

"Ruining my dinner. Leaving in the middle to answer a phone call isn't the way to go about making a good impression."

Hongjoong didn't think he had the words to accurately explain to Seonghwa's mom how little he cared about her opinion of him. He hadn't cared since the first moment he had heard her criticize his being in her home. 

"I think taking the time to make sure a friend is okay makes a better impression than ignoring someone who needs help."

"It could have waited until after. Honestly, you kids are in university. You should be able to take care of yourselves without the help of others."

Seonghwa set his chopsticks down with a hard sound, jaw set as he gave his mother every ounce of his attention. Hongjoong reached under the table, giving Seonghwa's thigh a reassuring squeeze, casting his friend a quick worried look. "Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?" She looked genuinely confused, though determined to defend herself from whatever accusation her son decided to throw at her.

"Criticizing everything Hongjoong does. You've been doing it since we got here. You've had something negative to say about every little thing."

"I'm not-"

"You have been. From the second I said I was bringing someone home you made your own assumptions, and when he didn't live up to the perfect girlfriend you had in your mind, you took it out on him."

"If you had said something-"

"I said something years ago! You're the one who refuses to accept it!"

"Watch your tone! I am your mother! You will not speak to me like that!"

"If you had accepted the fact I'm not straight when I told you, we wouldn't be having this conversation! If I had brought home a girlfriend-"

"But you didn't!" she screeched, slamming her hands down onto the table, chair thrown back as she abruptly stood. "You didn't bring home a nice girl! Or talk about a nice girlfriend! You brought _him_!" She gestured sharply to Hongjoong, though her glare never left Seonghwa. "Just one nice family dinner! That's all I wanted! But you had to go and disrespect me! Disrespect our family!"

A slow smile curled the corners of Hongjoong's lips, the look not reaching his eyes as his tone took on a pitch a little higher than usual, a sarcastic sort of cheeriness tinting the words. "I'm sorry you feel that way, ma'am." From the corner of his eye he saw Seonghwa's head snap towards him, bewildered at the drastic change in tone. "It wasn't my intention to step on any toes, especially when I'm a guest here."

She blinked at him, mouth open, clearly not having expected such a collected response from him. 

"I understand your frustrations. It really sucks to have your feelings constantly invalidated by the people who are supposed to love you. It baffles me that Seonghwa has put up with it for so long. Honestly, you'd almost think you were holding something against him! But that can't be, right? Because a mother that loves her son would support him in the things he wants to do in life, not shoot him down at every turn and force him to attend school for a degree he doesn't have interest in."

"Hongjoong-" Seonghwa tried to warn, but Hongjoong didn't take his attention off of the woman in front of him. He shrugged off the hand Seonghwa placed on his arm.

He could see the building fury on her face, her jaw shutting with a violent click of teeth, cheeks beginning to puff as she sucked in a breath. The way her fists curled until her knuckles turned white, beginning to shake with barely contained anger. It all caused the smile on his face to grow, to get a little more genuine if not a little more sarcastic.

"But what should I expect from the woman who has spent every waking second insulting someone half her age? I'm sorry you feel so threatened by someone who is chasing their dreams. I'm sorry you feel the need to tear down someone half your age because you ruined the relationship you have with your son. I'm sorry that Seonghwa has to put up with a sorry excuse for a mother, and a father who lets her get away with trying to ruin one of the few good things he has going for him. I'm sorry you're insecure in yourself and your life, but I'm not putting up with it anymore. 

"You can insult me all you want. I'm used to it. I'm confident in what I'm doing and where I'm going with my life. Your displeasure does nothing but fuel the spite that got me here in the first place. But dragging Seonghwa into it? Our friends? How's it make you feel to know you're picking on a bunch of twenty somethings?"

No one at the table moved, everyone's attention focused on him. Hongjoong wasn't sure anyone was breathing. Seonghwa's mother certainly wasn't. "Did you know," he started again when no one else was going to speak up, "that Seonghwa has one of the best ranges when it comes to singing that I've ever heard? Do you know the look on his face when he's listening to a song he enjoys? That he hums along even if it seems like he's not paying attention? How about how his cheeks puff and he sticks his lips out when he pouts and doesn't get his way? Have you ever heard him genuinely laugh? He's one of the biggest babies I know, and is one of the most caring people I've had the pleasure of knowing. And right now, I'm beginning to wonder where he got that from, because it sure as hell wasn't you."

Hongjoong bent over the chair, gathering his dishes together despite the food that still remained on them. "Thanks for inviting me to spend the weekend here and enjoy dinner. It was an eye opening experience." Without waiting to see a response, to how the adults at the table would take his rant, he turned and made his way to the kitchen.

The dining room erupted into a mess of noise once he dropped out of sight. "I cannot believe the nerve-!"

"Hyejin." 

"No! I will not be spoken to like that in my own home! I want him gone! Do you hear me, Seonghwa? He is not allowed in this house!"

"We weren't planning on staying much longer, anyway." Seonghwa's tone was tired, a hint of bitterness to the words that made Hongjoong's heart ache. He hadn't mean to put a strain on the relationship between Seonghwa and his parents, but neither could he sit by while his friends were being insulted. It was one thing he had told himself he would never ignore. They deserved someone to stand up for them.

Something brushed against his arm, just light enough to catch his attention, making Hongjoong jump. He blinked at the strained smile Seonghwa gave him, setting his own dishes into the sink next to Hongjoong's. A moment of silence settled between them, the sounds of arguing and raised voices continuing to echo from the dining room, until Seonghwa broke it with a quiet, "Thank you."

"What for?"

"Standing up for me."

There were a million things Hongjoong wanted to say. Seonghwa didn't need to thank him for something so simple as standing up for him. It should have been second nature. He should have been doing it all weekend. Guilt settled hot and heavy in his chest, threatening to choke him the longer he thought on what he had done, on the thanks he had been given, on the turbulent emotions that had been swirling around him since he had first seen Wooyoung's name pop up on his caller id. Instead of focusing on the whirlwind in his mind, Hongjoong took a deep breath and turned to fully face Seonghwa. "How about we head out? Sounds like your mom's done with my shit."

There was the briefest hint of a half smile before Seonghwa nodded. They skirted the edge of the dining room, not so much as glancing at the others still locked in their own debates as they made their way upstairs. It didn't take long to gather everything together. Most of their stuff had been packed earlier during Seonghwa's frantic cleaning. Hongjoong pulled himself out of the clothes he had put on for the dinner, slipping into a casual pair of jeans and a hoodie for the drive home. Seonghwa followed suit, even going to far as to muss up the hair he had spent too long styling just right.

"Ready?"

"Am I the only one that wishes we could escape through the window and avoid everything down there?" Seonghwa gestured vaguely to the staircase, and though Hongjoong knew he was joking he didn't miss the slightly serious and nervous look in Seonghwa's eyes.

"I mean, it's only a what? Fifteen foot drop from the window? Don't break your driving leg, and we're good."

"I'm driving back? I drove here."

"It's your car."

"You just want the aux cord."

"Glad we're on the same page." Yet, despite their jokes, both of them hesitated, looking from each other to the silent staircase. "I'll go down first. I don't think anyone's willing to get drawn into a conversation with me right now." Hongjoong shouldered his bag, steadying himself with a deep inhale before starting down the stairs. He waited at the bottom until Seonghwa passed at his back, fingers brushing the back of Hongjoong's hand in a silent signal.

They almost made it to the front door, freedom right there at their fingertips, when Seonghwa's grandma called his name, forcing the two to stop their reach for freedom. Seonghwa cast Hongjoong an apologetic look before turning around, trying to muster as much of a smile as he could.

"I hope you weren't leaving without saying goodbye," she chided, though her tone didn't show any sign of displeasure or irritation at them trying to slip out. She looked like she understood, her eyes flicking from Seonghwa to Hongjoong, and back again.

"Of course not."

"I know this wasn't the dinner any of us had in mind. And I'm sorry," she turned towards Hongjoong, "that you got caught in the middle of it. I'd like to say this isn't a common occurrence, but..." The woman pressed her lips into a thin line, something sharp overtaking her features. "It seems there's a lot I haven't been aware of." Her hands lifted, settling gently on either side of Seonghwa's face. "Don't worry about your parents. I'll talk to them. But promise me if anything else happens, you come to me, not them." A smile split her face as Seonghwa nodded, genuine and soft. "You have good friends, Seonghwa. Take care of them."

"And you." She rounded on Hongjoong, a frown tugging at her lips as her hands dropped to rest on her hips. "If anything happens to my boy, you will be the first person I hunt down." Her tone left no room for argument, and Hongjoong had the sinking suspicion that it wasn't an empty threat. Yet, somehow, that knowledge brought nothing but a small smile to his face. Hers softened alongside his, the smile making itself known again. "It takes someone strong to stand up to another, especially for someone else. Treat your heart well, Hongjoong.

"Now get going. Traffic won't be kind just because you keep standing around here listening to me yap all night. Go, go. And, Seonghwa, next time I'll visit you for dinner."

All three were smiling by the time Hongjoong got the door open, Seonghwa sweeping into his grandmother's space for a quick hug. They were halfway to the car when Hongjoong spoke up, giving a teasing little, "I think she likes me."

"She likes you because you tore into my mother. I'm pretty sure she never approved of Dad's choice in wives, and my mother has always been... strong willed." Bags were thrown into the backseat, Seonghwa checking the air and a few other important details as Hongjoong got settled with the aux cord and his charger. "Did you use your customer service voice on her?"

"I might have. I use the customer service voice on two people. Other people in customer service roles who don't deserve to be yelled at, and assholes. And if there's one thing I can't stand it's people insulting my friends."

"So I've noticed. Junhee would be proud."

"Junhee would be lecturing me on how to properly get away with insulting a customer to their face in a way they don't notice."

Hongjoong's music played low, waiting until they were settled and driving along the highway before calling Wooyoung like he had promised. It rang once, twice, three times, and for a second Hongjoong's concern spiked, gaze flicking to Seonghwa with a silent question, when there was finally an answer, the video taking a second to connect.

"Hey." It was quiet, especially for Wooyoung, the strain on his voice from his earlier breakdown clear. From the angle the camera was at, Hongjoong couldn't see much outside of the fact that Wooyoung had his head in someone's lap, a hand carding through his hair. "Jongho's here." The hand flashed a peace sign before running through Wooyoung's hair again. "That was quick. Are you guys on your way back?"

"Yeah. We got one hell of a story for you." Hongjoong paused, licking his lips before he continued. "I called San."

"I know. He called me, and Jongho's here right now. San said he'd pick up ice cream on the way back. Said I needed something to help my throat."

"He better be getting the good stuff."

"He's getting _sorbet._"

Hongjoong gave a satisfied hum and nod of his head, choosing for the current moment to ignore the way Wooyoung avoided talk of Yeosang. A thought to worry about when everyone else was in better mindsets to deal with it. Wooyoung flashed him a small smile before it dropped into something sad. He turned, half burying his face into Jongho's thigh. "I'm sorry, Hongjoong. I hope I didn't ruin anything-"

"You didn't," Hongjoong cut him off, tone a bit stern. "Don't apologize." 

"If anything," Seonghwa started, Hongjoong turning his phone so he appeared in the frame even if Seonghwa only cast the phone a courtesy glance, "you gave us a reason to leave early. Thank you for that."

"Yeah, honestly, the food wasn't even that good. You do a way better job." That at least managed to get a small huff from Wooyoung, the faintest traces of a smile tugging at his lips. 

"Excuse you. We made that dinner."

"That explains a l-" Hongjoong gave a yelp as Seonghwa smacked his arm, grinning while he leaned away and rubbed the assaulted spot. "Anyway, about the weekend." He didn't miss the way Seonghwa's hands tightened on the steering wheel or the way his jaw tensed as he clenched his teeth. For Seonghwa's benefit, and a bit of his own, Hongjoong steered clear of any of the negative aspects of the weekend, choosing instead to highlight the good points. The house Seonghwa grew up in, the city. Hongjoong spent maybe a bit too long going over the day Seonghwa and him had spent in the city, rambling about the stores, the art exhibit, the jacket and beret Seonghwa bought for him.

He missed the way Wooyoung's smile faltered before growing a little strained.

Wooyoung's interest did perk up at the mention of Youngjo, shifting in Jongho's lap and drawing the phone closer to him. "That's the guy you invited into the chat, right?"

"Yeah. He's a pretty cool dude. He has an entire recording and dance set up in his basement, Wooyoung. It's amazing. You should see his set up. There was equipment there I never thought I'd see outside of recording studios Eden's shown me. We spent half the time talking about music."

"Is he hot?"

Hongjoong choked on air, fumbling the phone in his hands as he struggled to clear the itch from his throat. "Wooyoung!"

"What? It's a legitimate question. Even _Jongho_ wants to know- ow! Don't pinch me! I'm not wrong! So? Is he hot, Hongjoong?"

"I-I mean... I guess?" Hongjoong slunk down in his seat, sure his face was red as could be, voice growing quiet and maybe a little squeaky. 

"You gotta send pictures!" Hongjoong opened his mouth, planning on tossing some quick reply back to Wooyoung, when he paused. "You... did get at least one picture, right? Hongjoong?"

"Uh..."

"You at least got his _number,_ right?!"

"I- yeah. I have his number."

"Ask for a picture!"

"I can't just ask for a picture!"

"Sure you can! Ask for something to set as his contact picture. Trade pictures! I'm sure you have some good selfies on your phone."

"God, I can't believe this. Can we talk about something else?"

"You brought him up."

"Good to see you're doing better." San's voice came across clear through the phone, soft despite the teasing, the sound of a door closing following the end of his words. Wooyoung brightened at seeing the other, pulling himself from Jongho's lap, setting the phone off to the side so he could make grabby hands at his boyfriend. "Is that Hongjoong and Seonghwa?"

"Hey, San."

San appeared in frame, picking up the phone Wooyoung had abandoned and taking a seat next to him. Wooyoung immediately attached himself to San's side, chin resting on his shoulder, arms around his waist. Jongho whispered something to San that Hongjoong didn't catch, slipping out of frame though Hongjoong could hear the door opening and closing again. "Are you guys on your way back?"

"Yeah. If you're with Wooyoung, though, I'll have Seonghwa bring me home."

"You were planning on coming here?"

"Hongjoong met a hot guy," Wooyoung offered, closing his eyes and leaning into the hand San lifted to run through his hair.

"He what?"

"And that's my cue to hang up. Night, guys, I'll text you when I get to the apartment!"

"Hongjoong, wait, what hot gu-"

With the call ended, Hongjoong leaned back with a sigh, trying to ignore the smirk on Seonghwa's face. It was bad enough that Wooyoung and San knew, the two some of the biggest gossips Hongjoong had the pleasure of knowing. Seonghwa was bound to partake in the teasing as well, maybe even more so since Youngjo had been his friend since childhood.

"Thank you."

That, however, was not anything he expected to fall from Seonghwa's mouth. Hongjoong blinked, his mind trying to process the words that were spoken to him. "For what?"

"Not complaining about my family."

"Listen, your family is... a little weird, and I definitely never want to see your mom again- no offense- but I'm not going to shit talk them. Especially when I'm sitting right next to you. That's just in bad taste."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did, but still. Thank you, Hongjoong." There was a beat of silence before Seonghwa spoke again, his tone amused and a smile curling the corners of his mouth. "Maybe next time I can visit your parents."

As innocent a statement as it was, as much as he knew Seonghwa didn't mean anything other than amusement by it, something about it didn't sit right with Hongjoong. There was something in those words, in what they usually meant when spoken like that, that caused something bitter to roll in his gut. He knew that what he wanted those words to mean, and what Seonghwa implied with them were two completely different things. It wasn't Seonghwa playing with him, tugging him in directions he knew Hongjoong would blindly follow. There was no malicious intent. Seonghwa wasn't that sort of person. It was...

A lack of awareness, he realized, recalling Youngjo's words. A lack of knowledge about what he was doing, what he was causing. And Hongjoong had allowed it to happen. Had put up with the way his heart had been tugged this way and that over the weekend without bringing it to Seonghwa's attention. Without talking about it, like he had advised others to do for their problems.

"Don't." The confused look Seonghwa gave him- head tilted ever so slightly to the side, eyes blinking as brows drew together- caused guilt to build in his chest. "Pull over. I... We need to talk. Seonghwa, pull over." Nerves pressed in alongside the momentary guilt, the fingers of both hands twitching over the door handle. Maybe it had been something in his tone. Maybe there had been something in the look he tossed over his shoulder. Either way, Seonghwa was quick in stopping somewhere safe, Hongjoong wasting no time in throwing open the door and staggering a couple steps away from the car, sucking in a lungful of air and running his hands through his hair.

"I can't keep doing this." He rounded on Seonghwa, keeping his hands buried in his hair. "I can't keep doing this, Seonghwa. I can't keep walking on eggshells wondering where we stand with each other. I waited a _year_ for you to give me some sort of answer. _Anything_. And then everything that happened this weekend-" Hongjoong cut himself off, turning and pacing a couple steps in one direction before turning and making his way back to the car. His chest hurt, his heart hurt, and the dawning realization that crawled across Seonghwa's face, replaced soon after by guilt, did little to calm his nerves. "I can't wait anymore. It's not fair. I can't keep putting my life on hold and turning down other opportunities while I wait for you to get your head out of your ass and finally give me _something_.

"I need an answer, Seonghwa."

There was a moment of silence, Seonghwa opening and closing his mouth as he visibly struggled to find words from the other side of the car. "I... I love you, Hongjoong, I do. Just... not in the same way you love me." Teeth worried at his lower lip the same time gaze and voice dropped low. "I think I knew that when you confessed, but I... waited. To see if things would change." His voice was quiet, as if he wanted to keep that little bit of confession to himself, worried of what speaking it out loud might mean.

"And they didn't, did they?" Seonghwa hesitated before shaking his head. Hongjoong took a breath, holding it for a second or two before releasing it. It... wasn't the answer he had been hoping for, but Hongjoong couldn't say he hadn't expected it. "Okay."

Seonghwa's head snapped up, wide eyes focusing on Hongjoong. "... Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. That's all I needed to know. I'm not mad, Seonghwa. A little hurt, maybe, but I'm not going to hate you or stop being friends with you because you don't reciprocate my feelings. I'm not _that_ full of myself." Hongjoong shoved his hands in his pockets, giving a short shrug. He would be lying if he said it didn't hurt a bit. He had waited a year for something, anything, and Seonghwa had been sitting on an answer for months. The opposite of what he had been hoping for, and maybe that was why Seonghwa had hesitated, kept his feelings to himself, not wanting to disappoint him.

At least he had something now.

"You're sure? Everything's... okay?"

"Yeah. Everything's okay." Hongjoong gave a little smile, taking a couple steps until he was right against the car, folding his arms on top of the roof. "We should get on the road again. We still have a drive ahead of us."

"You're right." Seonghwa tried to return the smile, sliding back into the drivers seat the same time Hongjoong plopped back into the passengers side. "Hongjoong, I... I am sorry-"

"It's fine. We got it sorted now. That's the important part."

Fine was maybe a relative term. It wasn't as if he hadn't been expecting a rejection. Part of him knew after all this time there was really only one way it could end. At the same time, another part of him had hoped, had dreamed despite every rational thought, that maybe it was nerves, something else keeping Seonghwa from answering even though he felt the same. Everything that had happened over the weekend surely hadn't helped, only succeeding in fanning that hope until it burned and overpowered rationality.

Hongjoong couldn't even blame Seonghwa for it, as much as he wanted to. He knew that, he understood that. He had assumed where he shouldn't have, made connections that weren't there. He could rationalize it all he wanted, trying to pull at least some of the blame away from Seonghwa. And yet, it did little to settle the way his chest twisted as he stared out the window, silence settling like a gorge between them.

He would not cry in front of Seonghwa. He would not. Not after he had said everything was fine.

Very few words were exchanged between them in the minutes that followed during the car ride. Hongjoong kept his head resting against window, eyes closed, barely listening to the music that played over the speakers, too lost in thoughts he was trying to keep in control. He kept his phone in one hand, occasionally checking for messages, occasionally counting down the minutes until they were back in the town.

Unfamiliar roads finally turned familiar, buildings passing by on routes that he knew practically by memory until they were pulling up in front of the apartment that had come to be home. He hesitated with his hand on the door handle, strap of one bag clenched in his hand as he stared at the front door. "Well, this is me." Hongjoong cast a quick glance back, the look that pinched Seonghwa's face giving him pause. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I- I just have something on my mind."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Seonghwa tossed him a smile that didn't look reassuring. 

"You don't look too convincing."

"It's... complicated? I don't know how to describe it."

"Do you... want to talk about it?" There was a hesitation there that Hongjoong wasn't sure how to take, Seonghwa's gaze dropping to the steering wheel, a frown tugging at his lips. Instead of pressing the matter, not sure if either of them had it in them for a lengthy conversation, Hongjoong gave a faint smile, climbing out of the seat. He leaned inside the car, one arm resting on the top of the door, the other on the roof of the car. "I hope you find someone, Seonghwa. Someone you can put all your love into. You deserve it." 

Seonghwa tried to smile, but it was short lived, the quick there and gone of what was supposed to be a reassuring smile tugging at Hongjoong's heart. It was as if Seonghwa couldn't make up his mind, attention lifting to Hongjoong and then dropping again, hands tightening around the steering wheel. Hongjoong blinked, stomach sinking, wondering what sort of news Seonghwa was about to drop on him now. "Hongjoong, you're my closest friend. Your opinion means the world to me, so I want to be honest."

"Okay?" Cold fear gripped him, the many unknowns and what ifs clashing, all his fears and insecurities from the last couple of hours surging forward. It didn't help that Seonghwa couldn't look at him, refusing to glance towards him, fidgeting as much as he could in the driver's seat. 

"Yeosang confessed to me. I-I didn't see the texts until we got back from Youngjo's."

There was a beat of silence, Hongjoong's mind trying to process the words spoken to him. His entire body felt numb, slow to respond, not entirely sure he was understanding what was said to him. Everything was a dull buzz in his ears, and the words he spoke next were slow and careful, like he wasn't the ones speaking them. "Is that why you were acting weird today?"

"I... yes. I don't- I haven't given him a response yet. I wanted to tell you first, since you told me how you felt. I-" 

It was clear Seonghwa was struggling with finding the words he wanted, but where normally Hongjoong would offer suggestions to help, his mind instead ran blank. He couldn't think, didn't know what to think. Yeosang had confessed. _Yeosang_, who knew Hongjoong had a crush on Seonghwa for years. Who knew that he had been waiting for an answer. And yet, he couldn't find it in himself to be upset, to focus on those thoughts that bounced around his mind without the ability to latch onto a single one.

"Hongjoong, I don't know what to do."

"Do you like him?" The words were out before he could stop himself, thick like sludge on his tongue.

"What?"

"Do you like him? Yes or no?"

"I-"

"I'm not going to be mad if you say yes, Seonghwa." But it would further gouge open the painful hole in his heart. It was one thing to know that Seonghwa didn't love him romantically, it was another to know those feelings had been instead directed at someone else. Someone they knew. Especially after going a whole weekend pretending they were boyfriends. "You need to be honest with yourself."

"I- I think so."He looked so deflated after answering, shoulders drooping.

"Then you need to tell him that."

"What Youngjo said-"

"I think," Hongjoong began carefully, "that you and Youngjo need to talk about what happened between you, and if you're serious about your feelings for Yeosang, you need to talk about that, too. With Yeosang, not Youngjo."

"But I- I don't- I can't lose you, Hongjoong. I wasn't lying when I said you're one of the few people I can trust."

"You're not going to lose me, Seonghwa." The smile he sent was in no way reassuring, and Hongjoong was sure it was more pained than anything from the way Seonghwa flinched back. "Like I said, I'm not going to be mad. You made it clear you didn't return my feelings. So don't let me hold you back. If you like Yeosang, talk to him. Figure something out. Let yourself be happy for once."

"I- ... okay."

"I expect to hear nothing but good news. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm exhausted, and Mingi and Yunho are probably going to keep me up for the next three hours wanting every little detail of the past god knows how many days."

"Of course. Have a good night, Hongjoong."

With a small nod, Hongjoong turned, punching in the code that would let him into the complex with shaking hands. He wasn't trying to keep his arrival back home a surprise. He was sure Mingi and Yunho were waiting expectantly, planning on staying up until he got back, and prepared to bombard him with a dozen questions he hadn't already answered. But his steps were heavy and numb, chest aching, and with each step that brought him closer to his apartment he wished nothing more than to be able to quietly slip into his room without notice. To curl up in bed and let the hours pass him by while he failed his responsibilities.

He hesitated outside of the door, one hand on the bag strap slung over his shoulder, the other with no energy to dig his keys out of his pocket. His attention stayed on the handle longer than it had any right to before a sigh parted his lips, forehead settling against the door. Hongjoong stayed like that for a moment, trying to collect what few pieces of his sanity remained before he sucked in a deep breath and finally slid the key into the lock.

The door closed behind him with a soft click, head bowed and gaze focused on his shoes as he slowly toed them off and set them to the side.

"Hongjoong?" There was too much excitement in Yunho's voice, enough to make Hongjoong wince and lean back against the door. "Hongjoong's back!" He raised his head and gave what he hoped was a decent smile, but judging from the way Mingi and Yunho's smiles fell, replaced by waves of concern that threatened to drown him, and their excited steps slowing before stopping completely, Hongjoong figured he must look as terrible as he felt. "What's wrong?"

There was something about the gentle touch, Yunho's fingers ghosting over the skin of his cheek, that sent him over the edge. Hongjoong tried- oh did he try- to stop the tears before they had a chance to form and fall from his eyes, but the breath he took to try to center himself stuttered, teeth biting into his lip, and the next thing he knew he was being drawn forward as the tears began to fall. Hands that weren't holding him close set his bags off to the side, gathering him and guiding him to the couch. 

Hongjoong couldn't complain. The tears wouldn't stop no matter how much he wiped at his eyes, and every breath he tried to take rattled his body and did little to allow words to form. He curled between them on the couch, what little energy he had now gone as Mingi and Yunho's warmth wrapped around him, muttering comforts and small reassurances while one of them rubbed his back and the other wiped at the flow of tears. 

If he fell asleep there, exhausted and pressed between two of his closest friends, letting himself be caught up in being taken care of for once in his life, well that was a different sort of ache future Hongjoong could worry about. One caused by a lumpy couch guaranteed to give him back pain instead of his heart being ripped out of his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys want to see more or are curious about other projects, you can find me over at twitter and cc (@woojinmp3) !!


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